Episode Report Card
Sobell: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Want To Keep Your Marriage Intact? Sleep Around.

The episode opens with a slow pan across the Decker house and Tom VO-ing, "You are one sexy little lady. Some hot water, a little butter ... and I will gobble you right up." We see that Tom's working his mojo on a lobster, and although Tom's charm is truly extraordinary, I am skeptical of its power to transcend species barriers. Trina's amused by the sweet talk, but as a load of clams gets delivered, she get nauseous. Tom asks, "Since when did you get so squeamish?" "Is she pregnant?" my mom asks. Note: In the name of historical veracity, I watched this show in the presence of two people who were married and raising children in the 1970s -- my mom, whom some of you may remember from other recaps as Mabell, and my stepfather, Sparky. Anyway, y'all should be awed that my mom, who had never watched an episode of Swingtown was able to instantly peg Trina as pregnant. Also, she confirmed that Tom's tight-n-tiny shorts were indeed historically accurate.

So it turns out that Tom's having an end-of-the-summer clambake, and the only thing that's keeping Trina from hurling all over the Saarinen table is the comforting thought that Susan will be storing several pounds of the clams over at her place. Then Tom comes over to put the moves on her, and the smell of his seafood-laden lands wafting up toward her nose sends her to the bathroom. Oh, it's cruel that pregnancy gives you olfactory superpowers.

We cut to Bruce complaining about the smell in the Miller house and Susan curtly informs him that he's smelling mothballs. She's pulling the winter clothing out of storage and nursing one mother of a grudge vis a vis his little lie last night and the fact that he crept in long after midnight. Susan also lets Bruce know, very subtly with a nod to his briefcase, that she's on to him.

Then we hear Janet saying, "Pack your bags. I want you out of this house immediately." Is she finally kicking Roger to the curb, and thus preparing to embark on a fabulous new life as Chicago's latest advice columnist? Sadly, no. She's reading a draft of a column over the phone to Henry. Roger comes into the kitchen and expresses astonishment that Janet's been on the phone for over half an hour. She quickly gets off and happily burbles about Dear Trudy, reassuring Roger "You have absolutely nothing to be jealous of with Henry." Roger dismisses the idea that he'd actually be upset at anyone else expressing interest in his wife, then snits about how he was expecting a phone call. Janet preps a speech on how dream jobs are nice, but we all have to live in reality, and Roger replies that as a matter of fact, he already heard about the job, he did get the job (the "So f*** you, you faithless harpy" is left eloquently unsaid), and he wanted to sleep on it because "there's one thing -- we're moving to Cincinnati." We cut to Janet's shocked face.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP