Sam and Jane are always a little too late. They screech to a stop outside Gary/Darcy's apartment. Don't worry, there's no traffic in downtown New York City.

Darcy is now struggling with Tarzan, trying to get him off her man. "What's wrong with you?" Darcy screams, pushing Tarzan. We're suddenly all MonkeyCam, in Tarzan's POV. Why would Darcy want this man to stop beating up the man who was beating her? Because this show sucks, that's why. Jane and Sam run in, guns drawn. Sam sees Tarzan pulling Darcy off Gary and says, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" Jane asks Nicki, "What are you doing here?" Then Sam shouts, "Hey, relax! Get up, Darcy." The closed-captioning then says, "[Hey, John. Hey, hey, hey, hey. No, John."] I guess that was Sam. Then Gary screams, "God! He's crazy!" Sam shouts back, "Shut up!" Jane screams, "John, that's enough!" Man, everybody's shouting. Tarzan shouts that Gary will hit her again, and Jane lies that he won't now because she won't let him: "That's enough, John. That's enough!" Tarzan's still growling as Jane pushes him away and Sam delivers the laughable line, "All right, now. I'm gonna need statements from everybody." He says that Darcy will give the first statement. Darcy stands up and walks over to a fallen Birkenstock lying on the ground. Whose shoe is that? It's not Tarzan's. And don't look for an explanation. It's just some weird piece of blocking. Oh, wait. It's her other shoe. Well, that's just dumb filmmaking. Why focus on her other shoe? And Darcy's totally a size 13. Those are some monster feet, girl. "[speaking indistinctly]," the closed captioning concludes. I'll say. Darcy pants as Nicki apologizes. For what? Darcy runs past her, still crying.