Fancy Xena house. "John?" Way to stay away, Jane. She wanders through the jungle. "Are you here?" Somewhere, a dove coos. Pan up to Tarzan on an upper ledge, staring down at Jane. "Why are you here?" he asks. Jane hands him his necklace. Actually, she slowly raises the necklace as we follow it up and then focus on her face instead. It's called "being dramatic." Tarzan leaps up and swings over Jane. Jane turns and gasps, beaming. She holds out the necklace, and Tarzan does a backward fall, flipping to his feet. He exhales. He takes the necklace and asks Jane where she got it. I guess I'm the only one who saw the pilot. Hey, what happened to all of Clayton's flashlight guys -- the ones who swooped in on helicopters who shot Tarzan up and took him to his cage three times an episode? They'd come in handy these days. "Your uncle," Jane says. "But he wants to hurt me," Tarzan says. Jane makes like a Budweiser ad: "True." She adds that Clayton deep down also cares about Tarzan. Jeez, this girl will believe any line of bullshit thrown her way. Tarzan puts on his necklace and fingers it, but he doesn't open the locket. He shows his bottom teeth and makes the ugly face. He thanks her and walks away. "Um, John?" Jane says. Tarzan barely turns around, just like a good soap actor does. "Look, I, um...." Jane stammers. "I know that I told you to stay here, hidden and everything...." Blink, blink, blink, blink. "And that's right, but if you wanted to just come by every once in a while so that I know you're safe." Jane's such an ape-tease. Tarzan asks if she wants him to stay there or not. Jane stammers around until her cell phone rings. "Porter," she answers, all nervous and breathy. Doesn't this girl have Caller ID? It's Sam, asking where she is. Jane lies to her partner again, and says that she's out eating lunch. Sam practically runs through the precinct saying they've tracked down the owner of the email address, and now they have a warrant. "You coming?" he asks. Jane simply hangs up her phone. She spins around to Tarzan and says she has to go. Tarzan walks deeper into his jungle.

A car zooms by some shitty apartments. I turn on the episode here at a party while we're waiting for food to show up because my friends don't believe me that the show I recap is quite this shitacular. From one glance at Jane, they all moan, "Oh, no!"

Jane knocks on a glass door. "Gary Lange! NYPD! Open up!" Nothing. Sam and Jane turn to look at the landlord, and give him the go-ahead. The landlord unlocks the door. Quick shot of Sam's silhouette as he aims his gun at the door. They enter, guns drawn, and case the empty loft. "NYPD! NYPD!" shouts Sam. Nothing. Empty. "Where you at, Gary? You in here? Huh? Huh?" Yes, Sam is taunting the suspect, and giving away his location. Nice partner work there, too. Anyway, they decide that the room is clear, and put away their guns. Then a girl enters, holding shopping bags. "Excuse me?" she asks. It's Darcy. Darcy walks into the middle of the room, silently. Jane sighs. Darcy says she's so embarrassed.