Emotional Rescue

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!

Greystoke. Clayton's looking at a baby picture of Tarzan. Yeah, whatever. Let's get this over with. Ingram is let in by the henchman. He says he'd be happy to cooperate. Clayton asks if he thought about what they talked about. Ingram says he'd like to go home and think about it. Clayton says he can't go home until they reach an understanding. Ingram says he understands that they want him to lie about what he saw. Clayton says that if Ingram doesn't help them, "well, you think you have phobias now...." Ingram caves and says he'll say whatever they want: "What I saw was murder." Clayton's satisfied. "I saw the blond man murder Detective Foster. He killed him on purpose." This concludes your Minute with Mitch Pileggi.

Xena's jungle. "John?" Must be Jane. Yep. "John?" Jane wanders through the forest and finds naked Tarzan. The music celebrates as we pan up to Tarzan taking a shower. After Jane watches for a while, Tarzan can sense her and turns around. Jane snaps back up and hides. She can't help it, and leans back over to take another peek. But Tarzan is gone. Surprise! He's right next to her, and Jane freaks out over the size of Tarzan's monkey. Don't you want to touch his monkey, Jane? She apologizes and hides her eyes. "Oh, my God. Um, sorry, John. Sorry." She looks a little nauseated. Tarzan puts his pants on. Boo. Jane looks at him and smiles: "You followed Gary from the police station, didn't you? After I was so mad." Wait. If he did, then why didn't he stop Gary from kidnapping Nicki in the first damn place? "John." Here come the tears. "You gave me my sister back. I owe you everything for that. I know that there's a part of you that most people don't see. A part that's very gentle and very kind. And I want you to know that I see it." Oh, thanks, Jane. Now put him back in a cage until you need him to solve another case for you. This scene would be much hotter without all the Vaseline on the lens. And without Jane. And without the pants. "And I'm glad I do." Shut up, Jane. Tarzan bares his lower teeth and wipes away Jane's tear. They stare at each other for a while, and then we fade to black. Bullshit! When will something happen on this show?

Next week Jane finally gets fired. Man. It's about time.

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