Jane's apartment. Before she's even entered the living room, she's asking UselessNicki if she's okay. She can't even see Nicki's face, since Nicki's blocked soap-operatically. "Yeah," Nicki pouts. "What's wrong?" Jane asks anyway. Nicki says that it's not her, but a friend. "You remember Darcy?" Jane pretends not to for a second: "Darcy...Yeah, yeah, yeah! She's a painter." "Photographer," Nicki corrects with an eye-roll. Jane apologizes. Nicki says she hasn't seen Darcy in four days. She calls, but Darcy doesn't answer her phone: "I'm starting to get worried." Jane asks if Darcy has ever done anything like this before. Nicki says that Darcy will hole up for midterms, but not like this. Nicki doesn't have Darcy's parents' information, since she's "from Ohio somewhere." Oh, that old place. Nicki sighs and says she's probably being stupid and that Darcy is probably fine. Jane agrees, strokes Nicki's head, and says she'll go check it out. Nicki thanks her. "[Chuckles.]" Jane kisses Nicki on the forehead. I guess Jane doesn't have real work to do that she's paid for by the city.
"[telephone ringing in the distance]." We're at the precinct, and Jane is the slowest dialer I've ever seen. Sam walks in and casually asks, "So, was this Darcy girl at her dorm?" She's got a dorm? I'm only asking because I've seen the rest of this episode already, and she totally doesn't have a dorm. She has an apartment. Jane says that nobody had seen Darcy at her dorm for a while, but that she got Darcy's voicemail code from the college. I hope she had a search warrant for that, or Darcy's got a nice lawsuit. The voicemail: "Hey. Darcy. It's Gary. Uh, I don't know why you're not returning my calls." The stage directions for Gary must read "[Like a meth addict.]" Gary: "Uh, I'm gonna come over there. Right now. And we're gonna have a great time. Okay? Look, we had a plan. And you are not gonna break this plan, you understand me? I'm coming over there right now, Darcy, and you'd better open the door." Jane and Sam finally conclude that they might need some help on this one.
"[telephone ringing in the distance]." That's how we know that time has passed. Enough time for someone to have made a Missing poster for Darcy. Hey, someone might want to tell Darcy's parents that they've filed a Missing Persons report. Perhaps they might want to be involved in the...what? Stay out of your case, you say? Okay. Have fun, you crazy cops. Jane scrutinizes the poster for a second and then says, "Yeah, send it out. Thanks." She hands it to Unknown Cop #49. Somehow, they know what Darcy was last seen wearing. Sam walks over and says that there's nobody matching Darcy at "The Hospital" (y'all know the one) and now it's time to check the morgues. Maybe they should have done that before the Missing Persons report? Jane shivers and blinks ten times because she doesn't like having to deal with people, dead or missing. Then someone delivers my favorite line on all of these cop shows: "Detectives? You should see this." They've hacked into Darcy's email account. They're lucky Darcy uses something like Hotmail, because they couldn't have read all of my old mail. Her inbox shows that the only person Darcy gets email from is someone with the email address "RAPTOR@Wexton." I don't know about you, but this shit would get flagged as spam immediately and then deleted. That's not an email address, for one, and secondly, don't use all-caps for your username. It makes me hate you. Anyway, this "stalker" has only emailed Darcy ten times, and we can see that Darcy has replied to four of those messages. "Big Day" is the first subject line. Then "Tell me more." Which Darcy did. Then "Photography?" Then "dining, dancing, art." Darcy wrote back to that one. "something special" she didn't, nor "not on a school night," "havin fun?," or "can't help it." But she did write back after "just a note." And I know you can all guess the subject line of the last email. Say it with me: "Hey." We can see the body of the email "just a note." It was "Dear Darcy, though [sic] I would send a little note to say 'hi.'" Sam asks to see "the last one," but instead, they open the first one with "Big Day." Sam reads with much enthusiasm: "Dear Darcy, just got your picture in the mail. You're beautiful. Can't wait to meet you tomorrow. In person." Well, if Darcy's fool enough to send a photo, the girl totally had it coming. And also: so far, it doesn't seem that Gary has done anything wrong. "That was a week ago Tuesday," says Unnamed Cop #92. "She hasn't used her computer since." Uh huh. Sam asks for "an email trace on this Raptor guy ASAP." #92 says it's going to take a while. Sam and Jane stare at each other as Jane shakes her head. I bet someone's got a gut feeling about something!
Fancy Xena house. "John?" Way to stay away, Jane. She wanders through the jungle. "Are you here?" Somewhere, a dove coos. Pan up to Tarzan on an upper ledge, staring down at Jane. "Why are you here?" he asks. Jane hands him his necklace. Actually, she slowly raises the necklace as we follow it up and then focus on her face instead. It's called "being dramatic." Tarzan leaps up and swings over Jane. Jane turns and gasps, beaming. She holds out the necklace, and Tarzan does a backward fall, flipping to his feet. He exhales. He takes the necklace and asks Jane where she got it. I guess I'm the only one who saw the pilot. Hey, what happened to all of Clayton's flashlight guys -- the ones who swooped in on helicopters who shot Tarzan up and took him to his cage three times an episode? They'd come in handy these days. "Your uncle," Jane says. "But he wants to hurt me," Tarzan says. Jane makes like a Budweiser ad: "True." She adds that Clayton deep down also cares about Tarzan. Jeez, this girl will believe any line of bullshit thrown her way. Tarzan puts on his necklace and fingers it, but he doesn't open the locket. He shows his bottom teeth and makes the ugly face. He thanks her and walks away. "Um, John?" Jane says. Tarzan barely turns around, just like a good soap actor does. "Look, I, um...." Jane stammers. "I know that I told you to stay here, hidden and everything...." Blink, blink, blink, blink. "And that's right, but if you wanted to just come by every once in a while so that I know you're safe." Jane's such an ape-tease. Tarzan asks if she wants him to stay there or not. Jane stammers around until her cell phone rings. "Porter," she answers, all nervous and breathy. Doesn't this girl have Caller ID? It's Sam, asking where she is. Jane lies to her partner again, and says that she's out eating lunch. Sam practically runs through the precinct saying they've tracked down the owner of the email address, and now they have a warrant. "You coming?" he asks. Jane simply hangs up her phone. She spins around to Tarzan and says she has to go. Tarzan walks deeper into his jungle.