Tarzan
Emotional Rescue

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TarzanLovesJane.com

Night. Precinct. Darcy's talking to Jane and Sam. She wants to see Gary and know that he's okay. Jane says that Gary's fine, aside from a few cuts and bruises. Again, the recovery time of these people is astounding. Sam says, "Look, Gary's in a holding cell where he belongs." Darcy can't believe Tarzan's allowed to roam free. Jane: "Darcy, you're getting angry at the wrong people. Gary battered you." She says it like that kid on King of the Hill who's just Butthead in Arlen. "Gary battered you." Like, I'm so totally sure. Hello? Can you say "Total victim/martyr complex"? Gah. Sam says that Darcy needs to press charges to make sure Gary doesn't do that again. "Gary would never hurt me on purpose," says Darcy, who has known Gary for about two weeks. She says he was upset and scared today because of the Nicki and Tarzan and the cops. Sam tells Jane to show Darcy what they "know." Jane hands over a fax, and says it's from the police department in Toronto. Hey, if anybody needs it, Jane's fax number is 1-212-555-0316. Darcy flips the page to a full-color glossy photo of the "battered" and "dead" girlfriend. Must be one of those fancy color fax machines. Darcy hands it back and says she already knows all about it, and that it totally wasn't Gary's fault. Jane: "Come on, Darcy, you're smarter than that." Darcy insists on not pressing charges. Jane asks her to protect herself by not seeing Gary, and by filing a restraining order. Darcy closes her eyes and says she wants to go home. This inspires much blinking and shaking of the head from Jane and Sam.

There's a knock on Xena's door. Xena runs to answer it, but Clayton lets himself in and stands just past Xena, staring at nothing. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the apes of our lives. And so begins the Skinner/Xena flirting. So that's how it is in their family. "What are you doing here?" Xena asks. So many times that question starts a scene on this show. "Where is he?" Clayton counters. "I asked you a question," Xena says. Clayton: "I answered it. Where are you hiding him?" Xena starts to pretend she doesn't know what he's talking about, but Clayton interrupts with a totally new line we've never heard before: "Don't start that charade with me!" Xena checks out Clayton's butt as he heads to look upstairs. Xena runs after him, asking, "Richard? What's this all about?" Do you think they could ask any more questions? What about in the next scene? Will there be more questions? How about the next episode? What's going to happen? Why are you still here? What are we doing with our lives? What's it all about? Why won't my eyes stop bleeding?

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Tarzan

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