Gene and Carey make sure to stick to a jogging pace so they don't accidentally catch up with the ape and woman just ahead of them. Gene stops for a second to find the footprints in the mud. They're right where he is, so that's easy enough. They keep going. Way to waste my time.
Tarzan and Jane run. Because they're trying to lose them, Jane shouts out that they're right behind them. Good work, detective.
Gene and Carey run.
And I know you can call this one. This is the time Jane falls flat on her face. Tarzan goes back to her. Jane tells him to go on without her. "We're almost there," Tarzan says, caressing Jane's cheek again. "Where?" Jane asks. Tarzan pushes Jane, and she almost falls on her face as she starts running again.
Running.
Running.
Running.
Tarzan finds some water. "What are you doing?" Jane asks. Tarzan makes tracks go into the water.
Gene looks for the tracks.
Tarzan and Jane run noisily through the creek. Brilliant!
Tarzan leaps up a tree.
The nine inches of water is too much for Gene's bursitis, and he must slow down considerably as he makes his way through the rapidly moving creek.
Tarzan tells Jane to give him her hand so that he can pull her up. Jane looks at him and winces audibly, as if she's thought about what it'll feel like when her shoulder detaches from her collarbone. Tarzan pulls Jane's stunt double up the tree with one arm.
Gene and Carey cross a one-foot creek and look right up where Tarzan and Jane are sitting in a tree.
Jane stares at them.
But Gene and Carey don't see that they're looking at Tarzan and Jane, because we are following the rules of Looney Tunes here, apparently.
Tarzan puts his hand over Jane's mouth again from behind, and because she wasn't saying anything, he whispers, "Shh!" Be vewwy qwiet. They're hunting sweeps week.
And this set must be tiny, because Gene and Carey walk three feet out of frame and then back again, as if they were supposed to have been wandering around lost. It's so ridiculous. This is all so ridiculous! This show has hit a low I couldn't have forseen! How can putting Tarzan back with trees and nature make the show even worse? They're frolicking, and Tarzan's trying to drive, and they're flirting, and his shirt is off. They gave us everything we wanted, and it only made it that much suckier. This show is painful. I am pained. My chest hurts. I can't do this much longer. "Where'd he go?" Gene asks. "I don't know," Carey answers. Carey is wearing any old city clothes, and Gene's just shy of war paint. "Couldn't have gone far," Gene concludes, looking up again where Jane and Tarzan are. Gene and Carey stare at the ground and continue walking.













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