I'm so excited about next week's last episode. So excited I can't stand it.
Sam's family's cabin isn't vacant for very long, it seems, given that it's pretty well taken care of. The lawn is maintained, and everything is dusted and in place. Jane says, "Okay, Sam. Tell me you have canned goods." And then she walks over to the cabinet where they keep the plates, opens the glass cabinet, and presses her hand to the shelf, staring down the dishes. No, I have no idea what she's doing, either. We then can't see her, as we watch Tarzan pick up a pair of binoculars. He stares at her from one end. Jane complains that this is what she loves about the city: "You got everything right there. Your bagels and your chocolate milk and you have smoothies and out here we got...." They stare at each other. "We got nothin'." Jane laughs and blinks a few times. Then: "Oh, my God. I haven't even thought about it in like, an hour." Tarzan: "About what?" Jane: "The murder case." This show really would make a fantastic comedy. "And Donald Ingram and Richard Clayton. It's just...It's just us." More staring. Then Jane walks away, saying that this is exactly why they need food and water. "There's food," Tarzan says. "And water." Jane asks where that would be.
Try not to vomit at the acoustic guitar that accompanies this scene of Tarzan and Jane by the lake. Try not to leave the room when you see Tarzan in some shallow water, trying to coax Jane to join him and fish with her bare hands. Try not to quit your job and leave the country when you see Tarzan's "reaction" to Jane's not wanting to join him for fishing. Try not to scream so loud your neighbors call the cops when Jane sits up straight and says, "John! There's a bee." Try not to stab yourself in the eyes when you see the CGI bee dart in front of Jane's face. Try not to slam your forehead repeatedly against your coffee table when Tarzan tells her to leave the bee alone. But when that CGI bee lands on Jane and stings her in the shoulder, it's okay to cheer. And it's okay to laugh when Jane decides the best way to deal with a bee sting is to slap yourself hard on the sting a few times. But your punishment is the rest of the scene, when Jane wails and cries while Tarzan catches the largest trout that's ever been placed in a creek. Jane whimpers and whines about getting stung until Tarzan carries his slippery fish to dry land and then smacks Jane on the arm with a handful of wet mud: "Mud. It takes away the pain." And then the real punishment comes: when Tarzan and Jane get into a mud fight. Notice how they're already covered in mud before they start throwing it at each other. Jane and Tarzan get really close, close enough to sniff, and Tarzan? He sniffs Jane like she's a mud-covered she-beast with pheromones streaming from her unwashed armpits. No kissing! "I'm filthy," Jane admits as she backs away. I feel disgusting, too.