Tarzan gets into the driver's side of the car and tucks his hair behind his ears and adjusts the rearview mirror. Yep, this is a guy who's never been in a car before. Jane left the engine running, apparently, because she's got Stupid Disease. Tarzan has it too, and uses two hands to move the gearshift from P to D. Huh. The car doesn't start rolling, though. Maybe Tarzan should try the emergency brake. Tarzan lifts his clean foot and drops it heavy on the gas. The car screeches forward. "[thud]," says closed captioning, but we hear a very loud crash. Jane comes running from behind the bush, and I'm saddened to see that she hasn't peed all over herself. "John!" she yells, and it sounds like Tarzan's head has been rammed into the steering wheel. Jane runs to the car.
Don't try to figure out why the passenger's-side door is open, or why Jane runs to the driver's-side door instead as she shouts John's name over and over. Don't try to see how the car could have crashed into air like it seemingly did. Jane finds Tarzan sitting still, his thumb touching his forehead, his face frozen in a grimace. It's more of a "She's gonna kill me face" than anything else. In fact, it's so casual that Jane drops being frightened, and simply tosses a "Ya all right?" Tarzan gives a meek "Sorry." I guess that sound is supposed to be blown gaskets, but it sounds like Tarzan might have discovered a waterfall. Tarzan pulls himself out of the window again. (This stunt brought to you by Toyota.) He obviously walks down a small set of stairs as he joins Jane by her side. Jane waits for someone to move the stairs, and then opens the door. She gets in and tries to start the car, but can't. "I guess we're walking," she says to Taran. What, no AAA? What about "AAAA-aaaahhh- aaaahhhh-AAAAHHH-AAAAHHH!" I can't believe we've watched this entire half-season without one jungle call. Bullshit. So before Jane abandons Sam's car in the middle of nowhere for colliding with molecules of oxygen, she asks Tarzan to help her rip off the license plate. Tarzan just yanks that thing off like it was held with a strip of double-stick tape. Jane says that if anyone sees Sam's car, they could be followed. Yeah, without that license plate, it could be anybody's 2003 gray Toyota Forerunner abandoned on the side of the road, on the way to Sam's family's cabin in upstate New York.
Meanwhile, back at Plot We Couldn't Care Less About, Gene tells Carey to run Jane's credit card, cell phone, outhouse, henhouse, blah, blah, blah canceledcakes. He tells Carey to keep doing it until he finds something. Carey asks about Sam. "Run his car, too," Gene says. And then he calls this guy Jeb. Wait. Is his name Carey, Jeb, or Bridgem? Oh, forget it. Gene sips his coffee from his girly Fiestaware, and then winces when the hot cup somehow makes his fake lip-scab hurt.