Night. Tarzan and Jane, two fugitives hiding out, light a fire in their cabin. Dogs howl in the background. At some point, Jane and Tarzan washed their clothes clean of mud. Don't question it! They shiver next to each other. "They're singing," Tarzan tells Jane. "That's nice," she says. "John, they sound like they're right outside our door." Tarzan says they are, but that she's safe. "Do you want me closer?" he asks. "Or farther?" Jane says he's okay here, like this. "I don't mean now," Tarzan says. He's so selectively stupid, isn't he? Just like a boy. "I mean always." He touches her face again. She closes her eyes. Jane wishes things could be simpler. "They can be," Tarzan says. Jane asks how. "We can stay here," Tarzan says. Jane laughs. "Together," Tarzan adds. "No," says Jane. Tarzan asks why not. "Because I have a life back home," Jane lies. "I have Nicki." That's like saying "I have warts." Jane says she has a job, which she doesn't: "And John, even if I didn't? Sometimes you have such innocence. And sometimes you are so violent." Unpredictable? "Unpredictable. So how could I choose to stay out here with you when I don't know what I'd be choosing? When I don't know you?" Tarzan storms out of the room. That's the right answer, Tarzan. You're finally doing something right. Jane sighs and blinks. Her arms flop around aimlessly.
Gene and the man with no name are working late at the precinct. NoName tells Gene about Sam's car found, on the side of the road. "So what the hell's in Hamilton County?" Gene asks, referring to the place where the car was reported possibly stolen. "Trees, mostly," NoName answers. Brilliant. He says that there are also vacation homes and hunting lodges. "All right," Gene says. "Then let's go hunting." At this point, my friend Laura turns to me and asks, "Why is everyone on this show bald?" And my friend Martha adds, "Or has incredibly long hair?"
It's morning, and Jane walks out of the cabin wrapped in a blanket. She finds that Tarzan has been cavorting with a wolf, presumably all night. Finally: Tarzan gets some. Woo! Tarzan spanked that lupussy. Sorry. That's the worst joke I ever told. I'm tempted to delete it. But NO! I have to watch this show, and I'll bet two-thirds of you never watched a single episode, so you have to suffer through my crappy wolf joke. I could make a lupenis joke, too. But I won't. Jane slams the front door of the cabin, but that's not what scares Tarzan's new girlfriend away. It's the one step of her bare foot on the wooden floor. What did Tarzan feed that wolf? And why is Jane so captivated by Tarzan petting a dog? The wolf runs away when he sees that Tarzan's got another girlfriend. Tarzan is disappointed.