Tarzan
Pilot (1)

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
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Me Tarzan. You WB. Me Flimsy Premise. You Low Standards.

Well, for some reason, they decided to book Tarzan, so Jane's watching him get handled by the cops at the station. Hope he's got some form of ID other than that necklace. Then maybe he could talk to these people in that calm, collected way he's been doing, and they won't cage him up for being a mute animal. I mean, if the problem is they think he can't talk and needs constant psychiatric care, and he's only freaking out because he's being held prisoner, don't you think Tarzan could talk his way out of this one? You don't need Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer to win a jury over, do you? Tarzan's pretty pissed at Jane. The Cap tells her that Clayton will be over in fifteen minutes. Why? How far did they get from the restaurant? The Cap complains that the killer on the streets just claimed his fourth victim. "Clayton lied to me," Jane says. "He kidnapped John." The Cap says that Clayton is Tarzan's legal custodian. Of a twenty-five-year old man? "Against his will," Jane says. "We have to do something." Brace yourselves for this exchange. "There is nothing to do," the Cap says. "He's got the law on his side." Jane storms up, indignant. "I don't care! This isn't about the law. This is about right and wrong." Which...would be...the...law...which decides what's right and...forget it. Jane and The Cap stare each other down. The Cap says he'll handle Clayton and get to the bottom of it all, but he wants Jane out of there before Clayton shows up. "Have Sam run you home," he says. Where's Michael? Doesn't he work there? Thanks, fancy boyfriend. Jane tries to protest, but the Cap kicks her right out of there. "Now." Jane obeys. Obey, Jane, obey.

At her desk, Jane plops down. Michael shows up and says hello. She says hi. "Forgot your purse," he says. Nice attention to detail. But he might have come back for more than that, right? For some reason, Jane starts apologizing here for dealing with an escaped monkey-man, for working while Michael was taking a conference call. Michael's suddenly all, "Whatever, baby. I'm really swamped." He leaves, not offering her a ride home. Jane shakes her head and closes her eyes, thinking, "My monkey boyfriend never leaves me."

In the car ride home, Sam asks if Jane's okay with "this whole thing with the Clayton kid." She says she doesn't know what happened tonight, but that it's over now and she's okay. She wants to know why Sam's not taking her to his apartment. I don't know why Sam whispers this monologue, but he does, saying that since Mike and the Cap were only checking out current bug-exterminator places, he thought he'd check out ones that were no longer in business. One name caught his eye for no particular reason: "Dead Crawl Exterminators." But the name nagged at him, and nagged at him. Then he realized. Because, you see, that's an anagram for -- "Get ready for this," Sam warns us -- Edward Creal. Well, not exactly. You'd need an additional "E." Jane asks how much Scrabble Sam plays. He says it might be a copycat, and might not. Didn't the Cap tells us that Edward Creal died in prison? Anyway, somehow Sam has the address of a dead man's fictional bankrupt extermination business, and he's ready to check it out. "What the hell," Jane says. "Why not?" Yeah, not like there's a girl at home wanting her dinner. Jane says that someone once told her that she has to step up to the plate and trust her gut. Man, was that in this episode? It feels like it's been going on forever. Sam asks who gave her that advice. "I saw it on Dr. Phil," she says.

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Tarzan

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