Tarzan

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 553 USERS: C+
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You're Da-Vine, Yo

I forgot Mitch Pileggi was even on this show. He gets briefed by a pair of suits about Donald Agorophobic Witness. Donald A.Witness "works out of his apartment. Hardly ever leaves the place." He tells Clayton that the man lives over the rooftop where Michael Foster "was killed." He then says, "We followed Detective Porter there like you asked. You think he saw something?" So Clayton already knew about this guy, and that Jane saw him, and they're just now getting around to talking about it? Clayton says that if Jane was talking to him, then they should, too. They ran out of dialogue, but Pileggi gets a full sixty seconds per episode guaranteed, so they just show him staring at nothing for a little while.

Like all cops in the middle of a case, Jane has decided to stop by a flea market. DON'T QUESTION THE LOGIC! She answers her cell phone: "Hey, Sam." Sam says it's been an hour and wants to know where she is. Jane says she's at a flea market on Grant (closed-captioning says "Greenwich") and West 10th. Sam asks her to bring him "one of them big-ass cookies." He then tells her to take her time, and that he'll call if anything breaks on Rhinehart. "Okay, fair enough," Jane says for no reason. Jane is then stunned into silence, because in the middle of this flea market somehow, Sniper's green car is parked. Jane: "Sam? Something just broke. The kid followed me." Sam: "Jane! Listen to me, listen to me. You get the hell out of there right now." Jane: "No, Sam. I can't. I'm in a crowd. I've gotta draw him away from these people." Several shots of buildings, none of them showing a kid with a rifle. Sam tells Jane not to look up. Sam hands someone a piece of paper and tells people to roll up on that address right now: "Please tell me you're wearing your vest, Jane." Jane: "I'm wearing my vest." Sam: "No, seriously, Jane, are you wearing your vest?" Jane: "No, Sam, I'm not." Sam screams for units to roll on that address right now. Jane: "Sam, do me a favor, all right? Just keep talking." Sam says he's there. Jane says she doesn't want "this guy" to get away this time. Sam promises her that they'll catch him this time. Jane says that it's time for her to run. Fuck all these people. "Don't talk about it," Sam says. "Just do it. Run! Go!" Jane hauls ass, prompting the sniper to fire into the crowd. Everybody screams and hits the deck, and maybe someone's been shot. Birds fly away, Jane leaps, people scream, glass shatters. Sam stares at his phone and then shouts, "Shots fired! Move!" Jane goes into slow-motion, hits the ground, and rolls under a park bench. So much for protecting or serving. It's mass hysteria, with people running and screaming, but not really leaving the scene since there are only about thirty extras and they all need to be in the shot to make it look convincing. Sam screams into the phone, "Jane! Jane!" Commercials! I'm so breathless!

Tarzan

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