I forgot to mention at the end of the original pilot, right after Tarzan started sniffing, right when Avril started wailing, Jane pulled Tarzan in for a long kiss. And I guess the end of that episode was "To Be Continued..." which feels so Nickelodeon to me. So that makes this episode -- which feels a little lost and pointless -- Part II of the pilot. Maybe it was originally supposed to be a two-hour "event." But my guess is that when they scored Lucy Lawless a few weeks ago, they overhauled the entire storyline, adding this extra hour here to introduce the Clayton sister.
Also: I am currently staring at my Shaun Cassidy album. I still have it. I still love it. Maybe Tarzan can bust out a little "Da Doo Run Run."
We open with Jane's open window again. But it's daylight, and Jane is sitting next to her windowsill. It's tempting to count the number of times she's going to blink in this episode, but I think I'll leave it up to you for next week's drinking game (drink once for every time she blinks, drink twice when she calls him "John," even though he told her to call him "Tarzan"). Jane looks up in the sky, blinking. Michael enters. He asks why she's not asleep yet. Maybe because it's the morning? "I just couldn't sleep, I guess," she says. Michael caresses her arm. Did he just get off work? It's daylight! Michael says he can't say that he blames her, after what she went through tonight. Do they know it's not night-- never mind. Moving on. Michael tells Jane that it's freezing in the room, and closes the window. He tells her to get to bed. She obeys, like a good woman should. She gets into bed and Michael asks if he can get her anything: "Water, Advil, tequila?" Jane giggles goofily, and says she needs all of the above. Michael says, "You did real good last night. You stopped a real bad guy." Jane whispers that she doesn't feel good. Michael: "I know how your brain works." He tells Jane that she can't beat herself up about Tarzan's dying: "There's nothing you could have done. Do you understand? He brought you back to me." Michael starts his creepy whisper here, which he won't stop for the rest of the episode. It's his turning point; from now on Michael is a "bad guy," for reasons that will remain unclear, since he probably has a right to angry that his almost-fiancée is monkeying around with a man who never wears shoes. Michael leaves, telling Jane to get some sleep. The sunlight now pierces Jane's eyes. She pulls up the covers. Michael shuts the door, which somehow makes the sunlight go away. It's a little confusing. Jane forgot to wash off her makeup.