Jane walks in a straight line so that Tarzan can jump behind her once again so that she can say "John" once again and act surprised. The amount of name-repeating in this episode is amazing. "What if someone saw you?" Jane asks. "I am trying to protect you, you know. You're not making it any easier," Tarzan replies. Tarzan gets a bit Australian here as he leans in and tells Jane he knows she's looking for the men who hurt the jogger. She says she is. "I followed them," he says. "You followed them how?" What else was he going to do today? "Their scent," he says. Why didn't he mention that last night? "Their scent," Jane repeats. Tarzan smiles flirtatiously. "All right," Jane says. "Take me." Tarzan is totally cool for being a man who has no idea where he is or where his jungle friends are. Tarzan grabs Jane by the arm and spins her toward the jungle...I mean "park." What? The gang's still hanging out in the park at this hour?
As Jane and Tarzan take a casual stroll through Central Park, Tarzan asks Jane if the boys were fighting for food or to protect their homes. Yeah, he's so smart, and yet so incredibly dumb. Jane gets even dumber, saying there's no reason for the men to attack: "They just do it for fun." Oh, really? That's why people commit crimes? For fun. I had no idea. "You know, for the thrill of hurting people like us. For the rush." Yep, that pretty much sums up why people commit crimes. Because it's all about you, Jane. Tarzan senses something that sounds like Freddy's boiler room. He stops, and tells Jane that he senses danger. "Something's wrong," he hisses. The closed captioning informs me that footsteps are approaching. It's Michael, walking like a horror-film monster toward them. "Michael," Jane says, as she puts a protective hand on Tarzan. She doesn't seem too worried, or upset. Just casual. Michael glares at Tarzan, who shoots the stink-eye back. Jane is mostly upset that Michael followed her. From where? For how long now? Michael whispers, "That's all you have to say to me right now, Jane?" Jane instantly apologizes. "Me too," Michael exhales in a whisper. Tarzan does another one of those low-lidded stares that's kind of like when Drew Barrymore was about to start another fire. The MWFs are back, and this time they've got laser tasers! "What'd you do?" Jane asks. "I did what I had to do," Michael growls. "You called Clayton?" Jane asks. Hey, Tarzan. Run! Jump a tree! Why are you just standing there, waiting for them? Michael asks Jane how many times she's lied to him. The flashlights approach. Tarzan gets up in Jane's face, and she blinks, blinks, blinks. He stares at her. She blinks, blinks, blinks. He walks away. Jane tries to follow, but Michael grabs her arm. Jane screams, "John!" Tarzan finally tries to climb a tree, but the laser tasers attack him. All Jane can do, once again, is alternate between shouting "no" and "don't." She also throws in a "Stop it! Don't you hurt him!" But the MWFs are tasing up a storm. Tarzan starts to fall out of his tree as Jane shouts, "Stop!" And then: "Please! Don't!" Well, she did say "please." Tarzan falls from the tree and lands on his back. Then Jane shouts again, "John!" Call him Tarzan! Jane tells the MWFs to let her go as we watch Tarzan struggle on the ground, pained from the tasers. He's just kind of flailing on the ground, rolling in the dirt, groaning. Take off your shirt, Tarzan. It'll help with the pain. My pain, from this episode. Blackout. Commercial.