Secrets And Lies (2)

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
Call Me "Tarzan," Dammit!

Jane is chasing Tarzan up some stairs. "Hey!" he shouts from up above. Tarzan is perched between a fire escape and a window, holding himself in the air, just showing off, really. "You coming?" he asks. Jane can only shake her head and laugh at her foolish monkey lover. He sees things so simply! We hold on Tarzan's face long enough to see he's starting to struggle from holding himself aloft.

Jane always takes the stairs, and she never stops calling him "John." Up on another roof, she looks around and finds Tarzan perched on another corner as police sirens wail in the background. Jane must blink before she approaches him, so she does. She blinks again. Tarzan looks out at the night sky as Jane nears him. "It's beautiful," he says. He turns to her. "Look!" So we all do, for a while.

Jane breaks this precious silent moment to tell Tarzan that she met with his aunt today. Wow, this relationship is moving much faster than Tarzan intended. He doesn't know why families have to get involved so early. At least wait until a holiday or something. Jane feels the need to explain to Tarzan that an aunt is a father's sister. Then suddenly Tarzan "gets it" and jumps down to repeat, "My father?" "Yes," Jane says. Well, no. His sister. Your father is dead. "And uh, she doesn't like your uncle very much, so I think she might help you." Yeah, that's what I got out of that meeting too -- Xena's desire to help Tarzan out of the Greystoke prison. "Help with what?" Tarzan asks. Jane suggests that he stay with Xena. "I wanna stay with you," Tarzan says, leaning toward Jane. "Uh, that's not possible," Jane says. Tarzan asks why not. "Because that's not how it works here," Jane says. What does that mean? That's totally how it works here, Jane. How it doesn't work is to have a man propose and you don't even talk about it for the next two nights as you lie to your boyfriend to climb up roofs with a monkey-man you helped escape from the room you used to say he was legally bound to be locked inside. Tarzan monkey-jumps away as Jane actually says, "You can't just jump into someone's life and..." I have to leave the room and find my eyeball, which just rolled out of my head and into the kitchen.

Tarzan finds another pole to swing on, and a corner to crouch in, as Jane blinks and then joins him. "You were in a fight this morning," she accuses. Tarzan says that he was. "This is what I'm talking about," Jane says. "If someone had seen you --" Tarzan explains that they were hurting that girl. Jane says she understands that, but that things aren't that simple. Sometimes, apparently, it's more important to let a woman get beaten and possibly raped, than to risk getting described to the police as a man with no shoes and a wild temper. I see that now, Jane. Thank you. Tarzan swings down to Jane and says that when someone is in trouble, he's there to help. "Don't you?" he asks. Not really. She's a detective, which isn't really someone who helps people in trouble, as much as figure out how the trouble occurred. And why is Tarzan supposed to be a superhero now? Did he always have super-hearing? Jane blinks some more and Tarzan thinks about sniffing her again. Jane asks if Tarzan saw the skin color of any of the men: "Was it black?" Objection, your honor. Leading the witness. Tarzan says, "No. It was like yours." Actually, Tarzan didn't see any skin because the men were in masks, heavy jackets, and gloves. Your honor, the witness has clearly suffered trauma, and has a romantic attachment to the prosecution, so I motion to throw out his entire testimony. See how Tarzan is now caressing the prosecution's cheek to demonstrate what "like yours" looks like? Did the witness caress the defendants' cheeks as well? And why does this man have such clean fingernails? Is he not a half-ape who wanders the gritty jungles of Manhattan? Where does he get waxed? No further questions, your honor. Jane talks around Tarzan's caressing palm to say she's trying to figure this out and help him. Tarzan keeps touching her, and she keeps blinking. "I can't do this," she says again. "I have to go." She leaves the roof. Tarzan stands there. Why doesn't he follow her again? Whatever.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP