Tarzan

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 486 USERS: C+
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Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Night. Fake Matchbox cars ride down a tiny street. Bad music plays. Jane enters the only rooftop in all of New York City. She calls Tarzan's name a few times and checks a few places. And of course, he's there, right when she's turned around. "Jane," he says. Jane smiles. "Hey," she says. Jane finds Tarzan and curls up to him. He touches her and smiles. They flirt. Jane uncuffs his handcuffs. (Does one key work on every set of cuffs? Seems to be a dumb idea.) Jane notices Tarzan's leg gash. "John, what happened?" she asks. It's hard to hear them over the incredibly loud, remarkably shitty music. Tarzan says that the cops came. Jane tells him he's bleeding, and digs her hand into the cut on his leg. Tarzan winces and sucks in some air. Then he leans in and almost kisses her. Ah, bloody wounds, bringing the kids together.

Xena doesn't have any lines at the top of this scene, so she stares out between some Venetian blinds, as all soap-opera actresses do while they wait for phone calls. It's Jane, and she gives Xena another number at which to call her back. I love how Xena writes down "555-0184" so she won't forget it when she immediately calls it back on her cell phone. See, Xena's getting watched from a car out on the street, and her phone line has been tapped, but somehow not all of the phones are tapped and the cops aren't very good ones, so really it's no big deal. Jane tells Xena that she needs to ditch the cops and take a few cabs and find them, because Tarzan needs Xena's help. Xena can't stop flirting with Jane. The closed captioning tells us that they edited out Jane telling Xena that Tarzan is hurt "badly."

Secret doctor's mansion. From way far away at the end of the hallway, we see that Tarzan's on a bed, being tended to by the doctor, and getting flirted with by Xena. Tarzan leaps on the doctor's hand. "Leave it in, John. You need it," Xena groans. Yeah. Do him! "It makes my arm cold," Tarzan says Australian-ly. Xena tells him that it's medicine to help him get better.

Jane's busy staring out some Venetian blinds. Xena enters and says, "'s'sall right. You can trust Ben." Xena peeks out one of the blinds. "We're safe." Jane, still staring in the other direction, in full soap-opera mode, says, "I don't know that any place is safe now." She asks Xena how Clayton could send Tarzan to prison. "I know what he wants," Xena whispers. "I just never thought he'd go so far to get it." After some staring, Xena walks away.

Tarzan

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