Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Tarzan, Jane, and Sam run downstairs in time to see Ingram getting pulled away by a bunch of men. Ingram screams for help.

The men push Ingram into a car and drive off. Tarzan chases them as much as possible, but he can't seem to fly today. Jane doesn't run after to help, but just in case, Sam holds onto her arm, ensuring that nobody affiliated with the law is on this kidnapping.

"How the hell did they find us?" Jane asks Sam, who flaps his hands a little in response. I am amazed at how dumb they think we'll allow them to be. Tarzan -- whose new superpower is stating the obvious -- comes back in and says, "He's gone." Jane: "That's all right, John. They need him alive. They won't hurt him." That's a conclusion that makes no sense. Of course they can hurt him. Sam says they need to find Tarzan a safe place. "Where's safe now?" Jane asks. I hate this show. Sam suggests that Tarzan stay at his place. Jane protests, saying that Sam's already too involved. And now I think that Sam's working for Clayton, especially when he tells Jane that he won't let her come to his apartment, but instead she must go home and get some sleep. "Sam, I'm fine!" Jane insists. Sam: "Look at you, Jane. You're a mess. When was the last time you slept?" Jane, a complete fucking moron, agrees to go home and get some shut-eye, even though Tarzan was really staring at her hard. This show sucks!

Jane blinks inside her taxi and lies to Tarzan again when she says she'll come by and check on him the next day. Where did Tarzan get a change of clothes? "Stay safe," she says. Heh. K.I.T., Tarzan. UR 2GD 2B 4GOTTEN. Sorry So Sloppy. "Get some rest," Sam orders again, and now I'm sure that he's working for Clayton. Sam calls Tarzan "John" and says that he likes him, adding, "But there's nobody I care about more than Jane. So I'm gonna tell you something. Let's go. We gotta go." Sam and Tarzan do a walk-and-talk where Sam tells Tarzan that Jane is "killing herself" over Tarzan, even if she won't admit it. "She's trying real hard to be strong, but I don't know how much she's got left." Then he says "hey" a few times. Tarzan won't look at Sam -- only at the speck of taxi in the distance. Sam tells Tarzan that Jane's going to lose everything she worked for by trying to save Tarzan. It is at this point that Tarzan looks at Sam and breathes a little. "That's right," Sam says. "Trying to save you from the cops. From your uncle." Aw, man. I love it when they make Tarzan retarded. Sam concludes that he's never worried about Jane before (except for the past five episodes), but that he's worried about her now. Sam walks to his car, and in the time it takes for him to open the driver's side, Tarzan disappears into thin air. "John? John?" Sam complains that Jane is going to kill him.

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