Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Jane opens her front door for Sam. "Hey." "Hey." Sam lets us know that Jane hasn't slept. It's not that she looks tired or anything; but Jane does pretend she's a blind person to convey she's exhausted from trying to dig up leads on Ingram. Sam enters Jane's apartment. Sam tells her that the DA is hiding Ingram, which makes him impossible to get to. Jane says she knows, and that they already had this fight. Sam asks if he can finish. He says that Ingram's impossible to get to, but that Sam's going to help Jane anyway. He asks for the cup of coffee Jane just poured. Jane hands it to him, because she does everything men tell her to do. Sam describes Tarzan again, using the only words he ever uses: "I know he's wild." Remember when he made this exact same speech two episodes ago? "He's hard to handle. He's unpredictable. Hell, he might even have fleas." Wah-wah-wah-waaaaah. And then, this crap: "But he's not a cold-blooded murderer. I know that. I done seen [sic] him save too many people. And I seen [sic] the way he looks at you. So I'm gonna help you save his ass." Jane thanks Sam for being her friend. She then takes one of his arms in her hands and flirts, "For being my best friend." This show wasn't cancelled fast enough. Anyway, Sam found the area that Ingram's in, informing us that it cost Sam a date with one of the ugliest police clerks he's ever seen. He has the "duty roster" of the detectives guarding him. ("Duty"! Hee hee!) Anyway, using the credit-card statements of all of the detectives, he found out their recent purchases and...

Oh, whatever. Cut to a pizza joint. This is supposed to be the Bowery. Jane enters a pizza joint ("Hi!") and pushes what of her boobs are push-able (It looks painful, actually, how she has to crush them on her forearm and heave them with her other arm so that there's a tiny line of cleavage. I'm also distracted by the sibilance she gives herself to convey "cute") over the pizza counter and coos that she really needs her boyfriend's work address in order to surprise him. The pizza guy doesn't give out addresses, but Jane coos and flirts and "girly"s her way into stealing the address and hiding it near her boob. Yep. This show paints women in the most favorable light. Jane orders a pepperoni pizza without mushrooms. Why do people always say that on television? What pepperoni pizza would come with mushrooms? Did you order mushrooms? So why do you have to order not mushrooms? How do these clich├ęd sentences stand the test of time?

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