Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Downstairs, the two dumb guards smoking cigarettes hear the commotion and head up one flight of stairs in the longest stair-running segment of all time.

Jane tells Ingram that Tarzan won't hurt him, so Ingram flings himself into furniture and walls as Tarzan cases Ingram like prey.

They're still running.

Tarzan's still staring.

The guards reach Ingram's door. Why don't they have keys to the room they've got Ingram in? Well, they don't. They knock and knock and ask Ingram to open the door and threaten to break it down. Didn't they hear a commotion? Wouldn't they think that something's wrong and...forget it.

Tarzan tells Ingram not to be afraid. They leave through the window. Ingram says it's too high up and he can't do it.

Outside Ingram's door, bumbling cops bumble.

Tarzan tells Ingram to trust him. That's enough to cure this agoraphobe.

The cops finally bust down the door. They run through the tiny room and finally check outside the open window. "Let's go," one unnamed person says to the other.

Tarzan, Jane, and Ingram are hiding just beyond their view. Suckers! "This way," Jane says, and runs off. Ingram follows her. Tarzan prefers to swing on the fence instead. The three run in front of the building in broad daylight, not even bothering to hide from the cops that they're on the run from. Pan over to a dark car, so dark that I can't see the two guys watching Tarzan who decide to move out. Who are these guys? Oh, who cares. Commercial. Why doesn't anyone on this show have a name?

Sam's at the office. His phone rings. It's Jane: "Sam. I got him." Sam covers the phone and asks Carey to cover for him. "Whatever you need," Carey says. Man. Is there anyone on this show not working for Clayton?

Jane stares out a window with Venetian blinds. Dr. Ben brings her some tea. Jane goes back to staring. There's a doorbell. Ingram and Tarzan look guilty. Jane tells them all that it's Sam. Ben and Jane walk up the stairs. Tarzan swings on the banister to follow.

"Doctor," Sam says as he walks into the house without another nice thing to say to the man housing all of his fugitives. "Hey," Sam says again. He adds that if he was a betting man, he would have lost. Jane flirts. Sam asks where Ingram is. Jane tells the doctor he might not want to hear this. But he's downstairs! The doctor leaves as Jane thanks him. Tarzan nods and goes, "Yeah." Hee. Tarzan's becoming more and more modern by the minute. Jane tells Sam that he's got to bring Ingram into protective custody. Wasn't he just in protective custody? We hear a noise. "Jane!" Tarzan shouts, showing his lower teeth. We hear more noise coming from downstairs. These guys are seriously the worst detectives of all time.

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