Tarzan
The End Of The Beginning

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Tar-Zan Adieu

The streets are wet, but if it's raining, nobody brought an umbrella. Jane runs through the night, panting, sporting a fashionable scratch on her forehead. If that's all she got from the past few punches to the face (assuming it's still the same night), Jane's got an amazing set of white blood cells.

We don't find out why Jane's running or whom she's running from because Tarzan grabs her by the waist and tosses her back against a wall. Jane's all smiles and flirtation as Tarzan has his thumb on her boob. He asks if she's okay, and notes that he runs pretty fast. Jane develops a severe New York accent to tell him, "I move fast. You move ridiculously fast. You should consider a career in pro sports." She tells him she'll explain that later. Jane doubles over with a cramp, and Tarzan massages the back of her neck, his other hand resting on his hip, all casual. Aren't these two on the run for a possible murder? Because they're having the time of their lives. Police sirens are heard, so Tarzan asks if they're close. Jane says they're near the loft they're running to. She points at it. "It was confiscated in a drug bust?" she says like a question. Tarzan asks what a drug bust is. "You get into pro sports and you'll figure it out," Jane answers. She runs, telling him to come along: "It should be empty; it should be safe."

Precinct. Lieu asks, "Where the hell are they?" Sam says, "I said I don't know!" The lieu says he knows Sam was with them in the woods. Sam plays a little hand of backstory to say he was there to stop Gene from killing them in the woods, but then Jane and Tarzan disappeared. "With your help!" the lieu yells. "No, sir. No!" Sam insists. The lieu says that Sam will go down with Tarzan and Jane if he finds out Jane's done...something. Whatever. Sam gets this gem of a line: "I'm telling you John Clayton is innocent. He didn't kill Michael Foster!" For those of you just tuning in, that sentence is repeated in every one of the past five episodes. Also: I love how they now have to refer to their "best friend" by first and last name to remember which murder case that monkey-boy might be involved with.

Jane and Tarzan run and run and run down a deserted alley. Tarzan says they can't stop anywhere. Jane insists that they can't stay on the street. They have this dialogue with each sentence starting with their first names, as they're prone to do on this show. The cops spot Jane and shine a gigantic flashlight on her. "Hey! It's Porter!" they call from inside their cars. And here's where we see the competence of this police force in action. The cops in the car immediately put on their sirens. Jane and Tarzan bump into each other twice and then run off. The cops then drive away and turn around, instead of getting out of the car and moving three steps to where Tarzan and Jane were bumbling. So, of course, the chase is on. Unbelievable. Literally.

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Tarzan

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