The End Of The Beginning

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
Tar-Zan Adieu

So Nash is on some ledge, looking down for signs of Tarzan. This is when Tarzan comes up behind Nash, crawling over a fence. Close-up on Tarzan breathing.

Now we get exactly the same shot, only closer, of Pileggi touching his face and then biting his finger. He hears Nash scream, and looks toward the closed limo door as the music swells. Pileggi looks out each of the limo's nine windows, and then decides that the best thing to do would be to get out of the limo. So he does.

Pileggi closes the door of the smoking limo and looks around. "Nash!" he shouts. We zoom in tight on Pileggi's face before he walks off-screen.

Pileggi walks to the same ledge that met Nash's doom. He stares for a second. Then there's Tarzan, leaping over the railing and grabbing Pileggi by the lapels. Tarzan tosses Pileggi over the railing (somehow Tarzan's now standing on the railing ledge). Pileggi rolls and rolls down a dirt mountain.

Oh, Nash is okay. He's okay! Just got a little dirt on the edge of his nose. And he's out of breath. But he's fine. We watch him pant for a little while until he turns and walks off-screen. It's then we see he's got a cut on his cheek. He's got a cut! He's not okay!

Sam already heard back from the limo security blah-blah. The limo's on "Marshall Drive. In the nineties." And then Sam adds: "And Jane. The car's stopped. Hasn't moved in a couple of minutes." That's some up-to-the-minute tracking information. Jane hangs up, thanking Sam. Where's Sam going?

Pileggi stands at some railroad tracks, holding his arm. He's screaming for Tarzan. "I understand how confusing and frightening all this must be for you!" Pileggi sings. With vibrato. "I don't want to hurt you!" he warbles into the night, lumbering and staggering across the tracks. "I just couldn't let you run around the streets...like a madman! Risking your life! This...This is...." and then Pileggi falls to the ground. Did he trip? I don't know. Being evil makes you exhausted sometimes. It can really just get to you. "This! This...this isn't....This isn't a....waste...that you NEED IT! You need...an education! You need this..."

We hear a growl and then see a shadow leap across a graffiti-covered wall we haven't seen since Booker and Hanson took down a group of homeless kids selling meth near the twenty-one block of Jump Street. Pileggi earns whatever the opposite of an Emmy is here when he screams into the night sky, "Everything I did was for you. FOR YOU!! And your father." More growling. "I just wanted to do...what he would have wanted. Aw...He wanted you to be a CLAYTON!" This is too much for Tarzan, who tosses a burning metal barrel over the...ledge that is now hundreds of feet above Pileggi. Is that the same ledge he just tumbled over? So confusing. Anyway, fire is headed for Pileggi's head. And unlike Romano, Pileggi knows to move out of the way when something burning is falling from the sky. Besides, this gives Pileggi the ability to roll around in the dirt, whimpering Tarzan's name, with fire crackling nearby. "WE'RE FAMILY!" Pileggi roars. Then he's hit with a body. Pileggi looks back and sees he was hit with a bleeding Nash body. I guess Tarzan did kill somebody, after all. It was really only a matter of time, wasn't it? Pileggi pats down his henchman's bleeding, almost-lifeless body...and steals his gun. Pileggi stumbles around looking like Superman searching for evil Superman. He points his gun this way and that, blinking and stammering, mouth popping like a fish. Finally, Tarzan monkey-jumps off a car hood, lands in front of Pileggi, and punches him in the face.

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