Tarzan
Wages Of Sin

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We All Go Out the Window

So Tarzan leaps on a few cars and in just about no time flat finds the trunk that holds the little boy. Thanks for the tension of the commercial break. Tarzan does do a funny monkey dance around the closed trunk when he finds the right car. And at one point, Sam wanted to call for backup, but Jane said that if he did then John couldn't stay. I mean TARZAN. "I don't care how many cops you call, John can work faster." That's not exactly...fine. Anyway, the kid's fine, and Jane waits to break it to him that his dad's dead from trying to settle his Atlantic City gambling debts. Sam radios in for an ambulance. Tarzan leans into Jason and gives him a scary face. Thanks for yelling, kid. You really made everyone's job a little easier. "Oh, Jason," Jane moans as she holds the weeping child.

Somehow, the kid got his teddy bear back, and he's sitting on an old car seat. Tarzan joins him. This promises to be some stimulating conversation. Tarzan asks Jason what the bear's name is. "When he was my mommy's bear, she called him Leo. But I call him Thomas." "He has two names," Tarzan says. "Like me." Tarzan looks up and makes eye contact with Jane on that one, remind her that his name is Tarzan. Sam gives Jane a questioning look, wondering why she's flirting on the job like that. The cops are finally arriving, and Jane tells Tarzan he has to go. Tarzan says goodbye to Jason. He looks at Jane and Sam for a second before disappearing. Like the kid won't mention him? Mom runs up to her son. Jason tosses the bear behind him and runs into his mother's arms. The lieutenant walks up and asks where "the perp" is. "He didn't make it, Lieutenant," Sam says. "How did it go down?" he asks. "How did you find the kid?" At least we're not the only ones left asking questions. We were HERE and we don't know any more than this guy does. Jane and Sam share the look of liars, and Sam says he's offended by that question: "I'm just a superstar cop." That'll look great on the paperwork. Jane tries not to giggle as Sam walks away. Oh, death is funny. Once again the closed captioning tells it like it is when it says "[sea gulls crying]." The closed-captioning person is the best writer on Tarzan.

Jane walks through some deserted area. Don't bother explaining. We don't care. "Jane!" Tarzan whispers from some kind of cave. Jane boasts that she's always finding him in the shadows. Or in her bedroom. Or on the street. Or in broad daylight. Or behind her. Or in front of her. Or above her. "I wish you could be in the light, John," Jane says. "You deserve to be." Whoa. Wow. Then maybe you could help Tarzan live free, Jane. Maybe you should stop returning him to cages. Tarzan crawls out into the light, and joins Jane. He asks if the boy is with his mother. Jane says he is, thanks to Tarzan. "I'm glad you were here today, John." She apologizes for what she's put him through. The tender music begins as Jane explains. "Look, I was angry at you for Michael's death. I wanted to blame someone. Anyone. And...John, it's not your fault. It's mine. My weakness and my lies." Huh? Tarzan leans in (ugly close-up!) and says, "But I couldn't save him." Jane caresses Tarzan's arm as the song picks up. She tells Tarzan that she knows he tried. Kinda. Tarzan holds her wrist, and takes her hand. She pulls it away. She asks if she can take him back to his aunt. Tarzan smiles. "[insects chirping]." Marry me, closed-captioning person.

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Tarzan

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