High Carpet: "Heeeey guys! How's it going? Have you met your boyfriend Motorcycle? He's magical up close. I feel like he knows a secret, and I need to find out what it is, and then I think he will tell me this secret."
Mia: "Carpet, it's a bad time. I'm busy right now."
High Carpet: "My strategy is, I'm going to kiss him."
Mia: "Sure, whatever. Go for it."
Haverstock: "Vivian was totally going to tell you about how we are your parents..."
Mia: "Everybody keeps saying that! I mean, it's not enough of a bummer that my sister/mother died, it's also that this happened mere moments before my entire life became awesome?"
Haverstock: "I'm trying to be sincere right now. And it is phenomenal to watch."
Mia: "Look, I can do math..."
Haverstock: "Oh, that? Yeah, I totally raped her. But it's not that big a deal!"
Mia: "Did you love her?"
Haverstock: "More than I've ever loved anyone. I think about her every day."
Mia: "So I guess that's a win/win, then."
Julian: "I am kind of drunk! Both on champagne and on success. And then more champagne because of my shame about my success. Did you know my father is evil? And that somehow I am the worst of all four siblings?"
Joanna: "Yes, but for some reason I don't seem to mind."
Julian: "Anyway, for at least the next three seconds I am absolutely committed to being in love with you forever, or until I change my mind."
Joanna: "That's awesome? But I have a shit-ton of stuff going on right now, so..."
Julian: "Like every guy on this entire show, I feel entitled to respect and affection simply by my own desire for these things. If you don't immediately take me up on my ADD protestations of drunk infatuation, regardless of how you actually yourself feel, everyone will think you're a bitch."
Joanna: "Huh. That makes me feel pretty awful, but not as awful as Will dependably does, so... No dice. No sale."
Julian: "Fine, you're a bitch. See you back at home. At my house. Where you live. Bitch."
Will: "Nicole, in all our time together -- all two scenes we've had together -- you never mentioned you were from Vancouver!"
Nicole: "Was that relevant in some way? I am upfront about being obnoxious, which is way more plot-related than my proud Canadian heritage."