Remember that Bravo show from a few years ago called Significant Others? About very different couples who were all in different stages of their lives, but all of them were in therapy? Really funny, and sharply observed, and well-acted? Well, imagine replacing those things that might have made you want to watch it with a lot of sex and nudity, and blow it up to an hour, and you get this.
So here are the couples. Katie and Dave are in their forties, are parents of two, and have drifted apart, especially in bed. Carolyn and Palek are trying to get pregnant, and it isn't happening, and Carolyn isn't doing a very good job of not getting freaked out about it, which in turn is freaking out Palek. The only couple actually talking about their shit are Jamie and Hugo, the former of whom overheard Hugo make an ill-advised comment at their engagement party, and now doesn't want to marry him unless he'll promise never to cheat on her. I know, some people are so demanding, right? They're all so screwed. The only thing working in their favor is couples therapist May Foster, who has only seen half of them so far, but she seems so compassionate and angelic and understanding that their problems shouldn't stand a chance. Plus she and her husband, both in their sixties, seem to be the only ones on the show with a decent sex life. They’re also the only ones who turn off the lights first, which is appreciated.
Okay, so you know how HBO always tells you what sort of adult content is in the show coming up? This one has that -- with all boxes checked save violence (despite some pretty explicit self-abuse that's coming up shortly) -- followed by a message reading, "The following program contains adult content and scenes of a frank and explicit nature. Viewer discretion is strongly advised." On HBO, it says this. Uh-oh. How am I to type this recap if both hands are occupied by the constant clutching of my pearls?
Especially since we start at a Little League baseball game. One of the main characters, Dave (Tim DeKay, formerly of Carnivale), is out on the diamond coaching the inept pre-teens through some really horrible baseball. Horribly filmed baseball, as well, since his team is on the field and he calls them in right after they fail to get the ball back to home plate in time to make an out. Maybe they just invoked the 15-run rule. This despite the fact that the other team's coach is nowhere in sight. Dave's wife, Katie (played by ex-Profiler Ally Walker), has been cheering the team on from a lawn chair behind the bench. After the game ends, they hug and say they love each other. They look so happy together. There's no more magical moment in a marriage than when you and your kid can share in a humiliating athletic defeat.
In the morning, they're in bed together. Katie wakes up first, giving Dave a look. Nothing happens. I can already tell I'm going to need a macro for that phrase. She gets up to shower, and he says he's going to sleep longer. But as soon as she's gone, he reaches under the blankets in a move that makes it apparent that sleeping isn't what he has in mind. Yes, Dave has decided to throw himself a little party, if you know what I mean, and I kind of wish you didn't. He's getting totally into it, with his eyes closed and his head coming up off the pillow and everything. Katie is about to reenter the bedroom, but she spots this scene before coming in. And she's...not impressed. Her face goes tight as she watches momentarily through the partially open door. And then she closes it rather than confront Dave, or wait for him to finish, or join in, or whatever. Alas, deciding to quit watching isn't an option for some of us. Dave quietly finishes up his "me time." At least if it were premeditated, one would expect him to have the tissues on his bedside table a little more within reach.