This show isn't moving any faster. Hugo and Jamie have some more sex, and then they split up again over her inability to trust him. Let's hope the breakup lasts this time. Carolyn and Palek try again to conceive, and it seems like a lot more work than fun. And then a minor meltdown in therapy the next day results in Carolyn confessing to Palek that she already got tested. Palek wonders what they'll do if they learn his little guys aren't up to scratch, and Carolyn refuses to answer the question, as though she hadn't already asked about donor sperm during her secret ultrasound. We also meet Carolyn's younger sister Mason, who, in the little we've seen of her, seems almost as horrible as Carolyn. Katie and Dave have some more not-sex, as Katie continues to go to couples therapy alone and Dave continues to stress out over it. Somehow in the course of his constant picking at her, they seem to be getting closer together, but they're taking their sweet time, just like everything else that happens on this show. Katie tries to have herself a little "me time" while she's working at home alone, but can't seem to pull it off. And something's up with May outside the office; she's got an old friend we never meet who's named John, who apparently lost a loved one a year ago, and of whom May's husband is for some reason suspicious, and for whom May leaves a long, rambling voice mail whose main purpose seems to be to pad out the running time. Just let us know when we're supposed to care. I'm not saying we will, but it can't hurt to have a timetable.
Jamie and Hugo are touring what looks like their new house or apartment. Everything's clean and white, which is why you know they haven't actually moved in yet. The sparkling surroundings only serve to make Hugo look more homeless than ever, in a white T-shirt and green fatigue jacket that really set off his four-day beard and the hair that makes the bold fashion statement, "I was recently used to unclog a drain." Seriously, an off-his-meds Billy Chenoweth is watching this going, "Dude, pull yourself together." Jamie talks about wanting white window shades, and Hugo wants a coffee maker with a timer, which Jamie is sure one of their parents' friends will buy them for their wedding. Because apparently all they get from their own friends -- like someone named Julian, for example -- is drugs. To demonstrate this last, Hugo waves around a little slip of paper whose meaning I am far too square and law-abiding to understand. Seemingly out of nowhere, Jamie tells Hugo it was nice of him to buy breakfast. Hugo makes a nervous joke about being an overpaid teacher, and they make out for a bit, and then Jamie accuses him of only picking up the tab so that he could flirt with the waitress. Hugo denies it; he insists, "I really fucking love you"; and he begs her not to go there. And then they have sex. Right there on the bare floor of a place they don't live in yet. And in the middle of it, in a conversational tone, Jamie says, "Just be honest with me. Tell me you were flirting." "What?" Hugo yelps, his erection disappearing so fast that Jamie's skull nearly collapses. "I hate it when you lie to me," she whines. Hey, Jamie, you know what I bet Hugo hates? Having hot sex with his girlfriend one second, and then just being half-naked and all tangled up with a crazy woman on a cold floor the next.
Katie and Dave are at the supermarket, shopping for school supplies. They make it look like a whole big stressful deal, just like they do with everything else. Dave looks away for a minute and finds Katie gone. He goes right into panic mode like one of the ants in A Bug's Life, asking the kids where she is and hollering her name out to the store at large. She returns from her unauthorized expedition to the next aisle, wondering what he's yelling about, and Dave stresses at her to stay close. She rattles off a list of stuff he was supposed to be getting in the aisle he's still in, and he just stares at her blankly. About here is where I realize that every time Katie looks at Dave, her expression can be rated on a continuum of one to ten, with one being "standard baseline irritation" and ten being "just caught him masturbating." Now, with a long-suffering look that rates about a four, Katie goes back and grabs what they need with no effort whatsoever. Dave tries to ass-kiss his way out of trouble, comparing this to a military operation where she's the captain, responsible for keeping them all alive. The sad thing is that he thinks he's exaggerating. Katie returns the stuff Dave did manage to put in his cart and herds the kids off toward the checkout line. Dave sneaks one of the contraband items back and follows, shushing Josh (yes, we have a name for the boy!) like it's their little secret. Man, they made that tiny little scene look like such a nightmare that for the first time I'm seriously considering home schooling.