Temptation Island

Over - This is it. This is the end. I can't believe it. C'mon, ladies. Ho one last time for Stee. Ho like you've never hoed before... C'mon, let's dive right into the skank-invested waters, shall we? Previously: Eight New Couples...

RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE

Latest Episode

2-12
Recap

I'm Not a Skank, Not Yet a Hooker

Over - All they need is time...a moment that is theirs. And that's what Mark L. Walberg gives the chicks in this final episode, before bringing their terrible boyfriends out to decide the fates of their awful relationships.

02.13.2002 B+

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Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

2-11
Recap

Collateral Whorage

Ho Me Tight - Final date selection continues as the kids say buh-bye to half the remaining hos, including Talks-Too-Much and Fucked-Up-His-Own-Chances. Final dates take place all over the island, as the hos are spread across Costa Rica like a slutty little disease.

02.06.2002
02.08.2002
B

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2-10
Recap

Skank You Very Much

You Don’t Have To Go Ho, But You Can’t Stay Here - Stee can't believe how enjoyable this season of Temptation Island 2 has been, and it's all thanks to the whores. And in this third to last episode, many of the hos are booted, as final date selection takes place. Tears, tantrums, and titties. What more could you want?

01.30.2002
02.02.2002
B

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2-9
Recap

Catherine, A Ho, A Female Ho

Delusions Of Monogamy - Catherine continues bobbling between two men (oh, right -- three, if you count her, you know, boyfriend) as the kids go on their second-to-last dates. The episode is a blur of TI 2 goodness as we slut on toward the final week.

01.23.2002
01.26.2002
A

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2-8
Recap

No Hos Barred

Ho-ey New Year! - With the infusion of new hos, things slut up a notch. The kids go on dates with the new hos, and then all go sleep with each other. Pretty much. Rossi is shunned by Catherine in favor of the new guy as Tommy, Nikkole, John, and Kelley also do some Fox-sanctioned cheating. Oh, how Stee missed this show.

01.16.2002
01.17.2002
A

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2-7
Recap

They Don't Love Them Hos, They Out The Door

Christmas, Fox Style - As Mark L. Walberg promised, the kids have to boot a group of hos. And guess who Edmundo picks to stay? (Here's a hint: it's not Hillary.) And because I know you were all sad for him, by some odd twist of fate, Ali gets to stay! The kids go on more dates, do body shots off each other, and play tug-of-war. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

12.19.2001
12.21.2001
B

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2-6
Recap

Fresh Meat

Fa-Hill Attraction - The kids alternately cry and cheer as they realize Tony and Genevieve are not long for this world. The wounds quickly heal, however, as a new dysfunctional, doomed couple -- Mark and Kelley -- arrive at the island and quickly ho things up. But whatever; the best reason to watch this episode is Hillary's freak-out when Edmundo doesn't pick her for his next date.

12.12.2001
12.13.2001
B+

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2-5
Recap

First Comes a Terribly Repressive Love, Then Comes Marriage

Holy MatriTony - The kids watch their messages from their mates, except Tony, who comes out onto the beach to find Mark L. Walberg. Mark L. Walberg tools him that due to the content of the message, Tony can't watch. Sad waiting. Tony thinks he's dumped. Bonfire. The kids watch their mates getting down. (Catherine cries, but what's new?) And then they send everyone away and Genevieve comes out of the woods, much like a scary panther, and sits on the log next to Tony. Tony never had a chance.

12.05.2001
12.07.2001
B+

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2-4
Recap

Ho three times on the island if you want meeeee

Ho On - The kids go on their third dates, with all of the usual sluttiness. Before that, however, each side has to boot two more hos off the island, and "tempers flair!" Oh yeah, and Edmundo rubs Hillary's ass and makes out with her.

11.28.2001
11.29.2001
B

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2-3
Recap

Let's Go To The Videotape

Putting The “Ow” Back In “Power Dating” - The kids go on their second dates, and start crying when they watch their mates getting busy with the freak freak. This is what we paid for. Well, it's network TV, so this is what we sat through herpes and Slurpees ads for.

11.14.2001
11.16.2001
B-

admin

2-2
Recap

Date Sabotage

Date Sabotage - Mark L. Walberg sends the couples out on their first dates with the hos, except he has a trick up his sweaty, needy, insecure sleeve: instead of a non-picked, loser ho being sent packing, he boots one boy and one girl ho who have just been picked to go on dates, thus leaving two of our people with no one to stare at monkeys with. Confused? Don't be -- just kick back, look at the pretty, pretty people, and fix yourself a gin and tonic. This is our time.

11.07.2001
11.11.2001
B-

admin

2-1
Recap

Let The Whoring Begin!

Journey Into The Garden… - Mark L. Walberg's needy self is back, somehow, some way, with another ho-around of Temptation Island. This time, there are four couples and twenty-six boy and girl hos. There is an island. There is lots of skin. There will be kissing and yelling and crying. There's even a blonde named Shannon. So, it's pretty much the same as last year, except no one is wearing her hair in ten tiny little buns. Small favors.

11.06.2001
11.09.2001
B

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1-8
Recap

Forever Hold Your Peace

Temptation Island: The Wedding - In a touching reunion-special- slash-special- wedding-special, Mark L. Walberg tools once again for a fond look back on the magic that was Temptation Island. We get updates, and learn which couple stayed together, which one broke up, and which we'll see getting married at the end of the show. Oh, you thought there would be even a single mention of Taheed and Yahtzee? Dummy.

11.06.2001
11.08.2001
C-

admin

1-7
Recap

They're Alive!

The Girl Hos Speak - Stee sits down (well, with three thousand miles between them) with Temptation Island Temptresses Britt and Elizabeth for a scintillating interview about the show we all ho and love.

03.18.2001
03.18.2001
D

admin

1-7
Recap

Kaya's A Rock. Mandy's An Island.

Touched By An Island - And Shannon feels no pain. And Mark L. Walberg never cries. Fox reluctantly lets go of its surprise ratings bonanza Temptation Island with a disappointingly sappy final episode, interspersed with more ads than the Cleo Awards.

02.27.2001
03.04.2001
B-

admin

1-6
Recap

Six Against Nature

Goodbye Singles/Hello Final Date - The kids go on their very cool final dates after cruelly booting the rejected boy and girl hos off the island. Mandy, Shannon, and Kaya all do some date-macking to varying degrees, while the chickens come the fuck home to roost for Andy, Valerie, and Billy, who all have miserable times.

02.20.2001
02.25.2001
B

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1-5
Recap

And When We Kiss...Oooh...Kaya

Megan In The Middle - Kaya takes one for the team, and makes out with girl ho Megan on their big fourth date. Problem: Andy "loves" Megan. Tension and allegiances come to a head when the couples discover that after picking their escorts for the final date, the six un-picked hos on each side of the island will be sent a-packing. Oh, and the best part: none of the girl hos pick Andy as the guy they like the most.

02.06.2001
02.10.2001
B

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1-4
Recap

And Then There Were Sex

And Then There Were Sex - Taheed and Yahtzee, sitting on an isle. Oops, oh no, they have a chile. First plays the drums. Then plays the flute. Then comes ProducerChris to give them the boot.

01.30.2001
02.03.2001
B+

admin

1-3
Recap

BadGirlfriendSaysWhat?

Power Dating - "What?" says Mandy. Exactly. On just her second date of the show, Mandy does bad things with boy ho Johnny. To make matters worse, during the bonfire, she then makes the decision that Billy should have to watch her slutty ways on tape. Yeah, no wonder Billy loves her. What's not to love, really?

01.23.2001
01.28.2001
B

admin

1-2
Recap

Reality Bites. Mark L. Walberg Blows.

The Blind Date - Things heat up on the Island of Damn-We-Should-Have-Made-More-Than-Six-Episodes as the kids go on their first round of dates. People get drunk and naked, as people will do. The kids then kick off one single from each side and watch videotapes from their significant other's dates and cry. Bring on the crying and the naked and the drunk and the fighting. It's The Island, baby. That's why we're all here, isn't it?

01.16.2001
01.21.2001
B+

admin

1-1
Recap

Blatant Rip-Off Like A Fox

Paradise Beckons… - Fox see Survivor. Fox see Survivor ratings. Fox jealous. Fox always jealous. Fox think how to combine Survivor with sex. Fox executive find way. Fox executive always find way. Not always good way, but still. Combine twenty-six "ho"s. Four couples. One pretty island. And one fake Jeff Probst. Stir. Serve as quickly as possible.

01.09.2001
01.15.2001
A

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