Temptation Island
Christmas, Fox Style

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
They Don't Love Them Hos, They Out The Door

I have Christmas cards to write and presents to buy and I have to pack for a trip back home -- and instead I'm sitting in my underwear watching Temptation Island 2. It's good to know where your priorities are, huh?

Previously. "Fueled" by stuff she heard and saw at bonfire, Catherine got all crazy and gave into Rossi's hick-a-licious words. (Is it possible that Catherine's titties are actually getting faker by the day?) Mark's and Kelley's arrival stirred shit up. We saw them dance around as various hos dug on them. John and Nayla were getting freaky. So were Nikkole and Fire Tommy. Then Rossi dissed the shit out of Tony (Tony of the gay jack-off porno, as it was recently revealed in the press) because Catherine picked him for her fourth date. Hate me some Rossi. Hillary freaked. Hillary freaked. And Mark L. Walberg warned the temptees that soon, half the hos have to bail. Whew. A lot is going on on that crazy island, huh?

Island Prettiness. Island Prettiness. Day 12. Montage Of Sleeping as Mark warns the kids of the impending mass booting. Catherine wakes and tit-overs that she's dreading having to boot all the guy hos. Kristen S. (White Eye Shadow Girl) goes to bed with Tommy -- who wakes up and spritzes something all over himself. I guess he's trying to wash the scent of ho off his body -- like it'll ever come out now. Kristen hopes she gets to stay. Pink mans that the hos are all forced to all pack just in case. Hillary, then, complains that Edmundo hasn't been acting like himself, and she wants to talk to him in case she gets the boot. She then asks him what if that happens, and Edmundo wiggles, "Then I would leave here with a regret." Edmundo takes the lie one step further by saying that "in [his] heart," she's going to be on the island until the end. Yeah, but not in reality. Oh! Actually, he says that she would be on the island "until the end of time." Hee. Meaning, the cast and crew would pack up and not tell Hillary, leaving her to make friends with a volleyball and knock her own tooth out with an ice skate. That would be a good fucking show: the loser ho has to stay -- forever !

Iceman complains about the impending booting -- why worry if you have no chance at all of staying? He also says Rossi is pissed that Catherine didn't pick him for her date. Now Rossi and Catherine are lying down somewhere and he, in his own stupid way, confronts her about it. She says that there are reasons for her picking Tony -- mostly because Rossi gets in "here" -- and she points to her head. He wishes the finger was pointing a little lower. Rossi keeps interrupting and being a dickface in trying to get her to tell the truth, uh, which she's actually doing if you'd shut your possum-pie hole for a fucking second. Rossi camera-talks that he's pissed and blah blah blah goateecakes. Catherine then tells us that Rossi is sad, but she has feelings for more than one person. Hee.

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Temptation Island




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