Temptation Island
Date Sabotage

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Date Sabotage

Fox wastes no time launching Temptation Island 2 in these troubled days for reality television; this is the third offering of the show in the past two days. Immersion is sometimes a good thing when it's as full of bitches and hos and skin and jealousy as TI2. Sometimes it's a very good thing indeed.

Another promo. Horses. Mark L. Walberg is the first to welcome the couples. Genevieve the snaky bitch wants to see if the grass is really greener away from poor fey Tony. Shannon is worried. Nikkole deftly predicts that she and Tommy are either going to stay together or break up. Fucking Jimmy the Greek here. Horses frolic. And...here come the hos! Slut montage. Slut montage. Catherine trusts Edmundo. Hos. The girls realize that they've banished all the nice girls and left the "prostitutes." That line still cracks me up. Catherine cries about some titty kissing. Slut montage. Slut montage. "I don't want to be here." Kissing. Staring at the videos. Kissing. Kissing. Shaking. Crying. TI2!

Intro. Jesus. Plane. Plane. Mark L. Walberg talks about four couples and relationships and we see the four couples again and being single to test devotion and answer the "ultimate" question. We get clips of last night with the kids being sent to opposite sides of the island and kissing and Mark L. Walberg can't find his light and the Hos Wide Shut scene and the Ho Intros and date montages and the least compatible hos being sent home and Caneel is booted from last night and an old native guy plays the drums and Mark L. Walberg keeps blabbing and confronting emotions at bonfire and more date montage and Exotic Final Date and then they'll be reunited and the "fate of their relationships" and Mark L. Walberg tools down the beach as he does the "who will stay together?" thing and the camera flies up in the air as our sad host stretches out his one arm in capitulation and longing and welcomes us.

Credit sequence. Skin. Volcanoes. Skin. Logo!

Day 3. Ladies' side. Nikkole doesn't have second thoughts about coming on the show, and says that if there is someone here who interests her, she'll worry about the consequences later...the bravado quickly oozing away as she thinks about Tommy getting busy.

Pool. Mark L. Walberg emerges in front of the hos and the couples to false cheers. He begins to explain that they're going to pick their first dates, and Shannon is laughing and looking elsewhere and Mark L. Walberg, in order to get her attention, does a Scooby noise and asks -- knowing she hates him and isn't even paying him attention, just like the pretty pretty girls at school growing up -- whether she's with him, and she lies that she is and he forces the pain back down and continues. The couples will pick shells with ho names on them; in other words, they will pick their first dates by chance, not by choice. Mark L. Walberg just can't let it go, though, and he reprimands the couples not to have contact during these pool meetings -- not even eye contact -- and they're all "fuck off" and he continues as Genevieve laughs at him. The boys like that the dates will be random.

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Temptation Island

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