Temptation Island
Fa-Hill Attraction

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | Grade It Now!
Fresh Meat

I hate Adelphia Cable. Yes, the stupid buying-up-every-other-cable-company around here continues to suck balls and cut off the first five or so minutes of Temptation Island 2 this week. Why couldn't it have messed up when I was going to watch Meet The Press or something? Oh yeah, because I don't watch that stuff.

So from what I can sleuth out: the girls talk about bonfire. Nikkole talks about Tommy and "White Eye Shadow Girl," and says she would rather he just kick it with one girl ho than ho all over the place. Catherine starts to realize Edmundo's a ho ho ho. Meanwhile, the guys are bummed when they realize Tony is gone, but also say they think Tony is whipped as hell and that their marriage is doomed. True that. Katie is the one who figures this out the most, God love her. Edmundo is mad he didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Tony. Meanwhile, Shannon cries when she realizes that Genevieve is gone. The boy hos, however, cheer when they learn of G-funk's gone-ness. And Donna is sad because she dug Tony. (Yeah. Right.)

Mark L. Walberg tools out to the airstrip to meet the new couple. Mark and Kelley have been together for over a year and are from Florida, strengthening my suspicion that many of America's problems could be solved if we just cut and push Florida out into the ocean. (Let's make sure to do it while J. Lo is there, okay?) Mark has double earrings and is a cop. Kelley has a strange neck and fake boobies. (So just for an update, it seems to me that three of the four temptee girls now on the island have fake tits. That's so...something.) Mark says that their relationship is getting stale. Mark L. Walberg asks how they feel, and they both lie that they're scared and nervous. Kelley goes on to say that Mark used to be a player even though now she trusts him. They kiss as Mark L. Walberg takes Mark off to meet the girl hos. Kelley sticks out her tits as she voice-overs that she's fine letting Mark "explore." Mark L. Walberg points out stuff along the beach as Mark just thinks, "Tool."

Girl hos and temptee guys. Floating in the pool. The Two Marks arrive. Edmundo gives Mark dirty looks. Pink already has plans to fuck him. John camera-talks that it was unexpected that a new guy was coming. John says, "New meat." John likes him a bit too much. The girl hos all sit and stick their titties out and giggle way too hard as they sit to talk and get to ho each other. Mark says he likes being with Kelley, but that he used to be a player and feels strangled. Pink looks at him like she would like to strangle him with her thighs. She could, too. Mark voice-overs that he knows he needs to grow up and some shit about how much he likes women. He babbles on that he bought a house and Kelley moved in, and then Edmundo camera-talks that all the girls took their attention away from him and put it on Mark and he didn't like it. Dude, trust me: getting Hillary's scary-ass attention off you for a while could be a very good thing. Mark lies that he's going to miss "the hugs of Kelley." He goes on that this is heaven for a guy. Immediately, he and Pink start getting drunk.

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Temptation Island




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