Temptation Island
Fa-Hill Attraction

Episode Report Card
Stee: B+ | Grade It Now!
Fresh Meat

Night-vision. Rossi and Catherine sneak behind the cabins, looking around. Shot of a raccoon. Hee. Catherine spins that they came because it was dark and they could see the stars. Rossi spins that he wasn't trying to get some -- just a kiss. He asks if he can kiss her. She doesn't respond. He forces a kiss on her. She pulls away. Rossi sucks. Catherine says she told him she wasn't ready. She goes on to say that the things he was saying were pretty incredible, and he's getting to her. It looks like they kiss again. Man. I swear, guys in general must have the crappiest lines, because I would never try to get away with this wack shit. Man.

Ladies' side. Hillary is rubbing Edmundo's feet. She camera-talks that she had no expectations when she came here, and didn't think that she'd become so emotionally invested. For some reason, Edmundo is limping like a motherfucker and Hillary helps him to his room, the whole time saying that they clicked right away and discovered things about each other and "here we are." They're now in the room. Lights off. Candles lit. She looks through the bathroom door and Edmundo says he's brushing his teeth naked, and does she want to come help? He says he can see a camera crew behind her, and she asks, "Where?" There is a camera mounted in the wall, it looks like, but nothing else. She goes around fruitlessly turning off all the lights as Edmundo camera-talks, deeply afraid about what he's done, that Catherine might take things a little personally and lose focus when she sees what he's doing being single and "having a little too much fun, I guess." He desperately continues trying to save his doomed relationship as he goes on that she has to remember that they're here to explore. Hillary sneaks into the bathroom with Edmundo. Edmundo then, hysterically, looks through a slat they've broken in the door to make sure the coast is clear, and then his eyes disappear. Hillary begins moaning. Hee. Suddenly, Tommy -- a camera crew behind him -- walks into the room. He hears the van-a-rockin' and sneaks out. Moans. Damn! Edmundo has done it. Yes, the crazy chicks are the best in bed, but you must remember: they're crazy! We fade to commercials as Hillary slides to her knees next to the sink and Edmundo, finally, seals his scary fate.

Day 11. Pool area. Date selection. Mark L. Walberg asks the girl hos what their shirts say. Pink's shirt says, "I like your boyfriend," and the other girl hos all sport tiny white shirts saying, "Me 2." "Oh god," spits Nikkole. "That's terrible," says Shannon, pissed. Catherine makes her bitch face. John laughs. Edmundo gives Catherine a side-guilt-glance. Mark L. Walberg tools on that they can now pick someone to date that they've already dated. Sadly, Hillary gives Edmundo a "remember last night" tongue flick. Ew. DJ Scribble or someone plays music and the girl hos skank out onto the bridge and dance. One by one, the guys will go up there, dance, and then dance away with the girl ho of his choice. "You gotta dance, dude," says Tommy, scared. The girl hos slut it up. "These girls are prostitutes," whispers Nikkole. The girl hos all rip off their shirts and Edmundo goes out there. He starts dancing, and it's the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. He does this move where he's driving a car but his hands are all floppy. Then he does a three-steps-to-the-right, three-steps-to-the-left hoppy thing. Tommy cracks up. Edmundo dances in front of Hillary...and then grabs smoking-voiced Linda. Catherine still has her bitch face on and shakes her head. Linda camera-talks that she was surprised Edmundo didn't pick Hillary. Hillary looks like she's about to cry. Uh oh.

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Temptation Island




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