Temptation Island
Goodbye Singles/Hello Final Date

Episode Report Card
Stee: B | Grade It Now!
Six Against Nature

Boat. Taheed and Yahtzee head to a pier somewhere where they meet with Scuba Steve and his fiancée (I guess he's the local scuba instructor.) During the sad boat ride, Taheed tells us that the day was filled with mixed emotions, saying that they said a lot of hurtful things to each other; he forgets to tell us what the good side of the "mixed" part was. So they drink and talk and a drunk Yahtzee tells Steve the story of how Taheed "got" her. She tells us that Taheed made dinner for her after work one night. Also included in his "I'm Gonna Get Me Some Booty" preparations was a bath, candles, a rose, and a card in which he had written "special words." Oooh, I love me some special words. None of which, however, I can really discuss in mixed company. She goes on to say that was the first time any guy she dated had ever "done anything" for her. Hm. I'm not sure if she's being sexually cryptic here, or if she really means that no guy has ever done "anything" for her. That's sad if it's the case. I can see then why she's with him despite everything. Okay, not really, but it's more understandable. She finishes by saying that Taheed listened to her when she talked, which is a skill I've been working for years to cultivate. Wow. Just exactly how do you "listen" when someone is talking? That sounds really special. Yahtzee momentarily mentally loses it, saying, "Mr. Macho. Mr. arrogant macho person." She starts laughing. Taheed, looking more dead in the eyes than ever, tells us that Scuba Steve and his girl said some things to them that gave them insight into their own relationship. Steve, also drunk, tells Taheed that he already has a girl he's put five years into, and why look for someone else; it'll just take him another five years even to get to the point he is now with Yahtzee. Taheed says that he wants them to get off the "roller coaster" they feel they've been on lately. He finally tells us that their day was a step in the right direction, and that this was the first time in a while they've felt like they did any kind of communicating. Man, solid, that relationship. And so suddenly. Just give the Fox people a few minutes and they'll fix your life. I'm sure Taheed and Yahtzee will last another fifty weeks…I mean years. Years. All the faith in the world.

It's the women's side and the rejected boy hos are off; Jon is helping with someone's bag all, "Okay, great. Now get the fuck out of here, rejects." Well, he's probably doing it to keep an eye on Mandy, which isn't such a bad idea. Charlie shakes his head to the camera. I see now that the ladies are walking out with the boys they rejected. That's sorta nice, but I think I might personally be tempted to push them into the water. Matt feys that he had no expectations coming on the show so he's happy no matter what. (Plus, he got to meet a few great guys.) Matt hypothesizes that since Shannon has a few days left of "downtime," she and Tom couple probably "be a couple." You know, obviously she and Andy have said that they can do whatever they want with no repercussions, and they just conveniently left that out to heighten the drama of the show. Matt then calls Dano, "Dano the Mano," and says that he's so nervous about his date he's been asking the others to write down things for him to say. Mandy makes a crack about, "Don't leave us alone with these guys," does a fake pout, and then jumps up and down laughing. I would definitely push her in the water. Trouble is she'd probably just drunkenly cackle. The Boy Ho Boat O' Rejects trails off into the distance as the sad music pumps up and I'm forced to take a two-hour nap because of the growing tedium. (Obviously, stee was the big loser in Fox's decision to stretch out another episode.) Matt continues that she's not sure about Mandy and Jon and that they'll at least have a "good time." At least they will. Well, I'm sure Matt will be just fine. He'll probably be back in the West Village drinking Amaretto Sours and laughing about the wool he pulled over Fox's eyes.

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Temptation Island




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