Temptation Island
Ho On

Episode Report Card
Stee: B | Grade It Now!
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Ho three times on the island if you want meeeee

Keebler Tom and Catherine wash mud off each other. He's such a weenie. Her boobies are so fake. The camera lecherously runs over her showering as K.T. babbles to us about how he wants to stay close so that if Catherine sees Edmundo getting together, maybe she'll "default" to him. He says he's going to keep trying to win her over. Now Catherine, obviously having had a terrible time with K.T., camera-talks that she has to keep her options open and would be cheating herself if she didn't. Hee.

Edmundo and Donna get over to the small island and find that it's a cemetery. Edmundo babbles about how nice it is, and they climb onto rocks and hang. Donna says she's not thinking of Edmundo romantically, and she thinks he has a better vibe with Hillary. Hee, Donna hates him. Good.

Nikkole and Tommy the Firefighter. They eat pizza outside as she tells us that she's intimidated by him. She thinks he's too good to be true. Nikkole bitches about her Tommy. This Tommy camera-talks that he gives a woman exactly what Nikkole is looking for. Now she camera-talks that she's entering into this cautiously but sometimes the heart takes over, and enigmatically she says that this is romantic and it's a "really nice place to be." They hug. (Man. Again, we hope he's not dead.) Commercials.

Night. Island. Guys' side. The girl hos are dressing the guys in drag and makeup. Eh. Edmundo is uncomfortable. Hillary rubs his legs. Tommy stares at himself and says, "I look disgusting." Hee. John is surrounded. Katie keeps laughing at Tony because he looks so pretty. John is in a dress. Katie says that John needs new boobs. Hillary is still hanging on Edmundo. Now and forever. John sees Edmundo and says, "You've got good nipples, dude. What's up with that." Hee -- that's kinda funny. Now the girl hos watch as they lead the guys out on the beach, and the guys strut around with their new girl names and "work the runway," and the girls laugh way too hard. Pink pulls Tommy's pants down. Screaming. Screaming. Salsa music. They all jump into the pool. Then a dog jumps into the pool, and the editors make it look like the girl hos "wooo!" the loudest for the dog. This show doesn't even make any sense anymore. Well, but yeah, who really cares about sense on this show?

Ladies' side. The ladies are led into a tent, where the boy hos have a whole massage thing set up with fruit and fans and massages and candles. Basically, things guys really know nothing about massage but pretend to when they want to get laid. Shannon says it was "incredible." Rossi camera-talks that here, the girls can get away and forget. Fireman Tommy says Nikkole opened up to him. Keebler Tommy camera-talks that he hopes Rossi backs off Catherine soon. Rossi camera-talks that he would bet on himself to get Catherine. Catherine, meanwhile, laughs and gets rubbed. Her implants wave hello to the camera.

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Temptation Island

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