Temptation Island

Episode Report Card
Stee: B+ | Grade It Now!
I'm Not a Skank, Not Yet a Hooker

Shannon's turn. She slo-mos on out, already having scanned the island for John to try to get to him first, using a snorkel and night-vision goggles, I'm sure. Shannon gives Mark L. Walberg a fake hug and says that she's okay. She puts on her Scary Listening Face as Mark L. Walberg tools that he wanted a chance to talk to her. He goes on to remind her that they talked about control before, and that during a bonfire he told her, in front of all the girls, that he'd been thinking about her when he's not with her. Ew! Whoa. Mark L. Walberg loves Shannon! He blathers on that he always caught her trying to talk to John during poolside meetings. Continuing, he says that he can tell her this, and wanted to tell her alone, not to embarrass her in front of the other girls...Okay, here we go! "I know about the notes," he says. Shannon instantly loses her smile. Hee. He goes on that the notes never got to John, and that maybe Shannon wrote them to try to give herself solace and "bring bearing on what is." Whatever that means. Shannon says that she feels "vulnerable" and that, yes, it's a foreign feeling for her. Mark L. Walberg then opens up to us, without anyone ever asking, that he knows from his own life that vulnerability is a symptom of being scared to death. (Mark L. Walberg is constantly feeling alone and vulnerable and scared to death.) Shannon cries that she doesn't want to be alone. Mark L. Walberg tells Shannon that she doesn't have to be a rock, and she cries. Bleh. Shannon continues that she has a big support system at home, and she doesn't have that here. Mark L. Walberg asks if she's learned anything from that feeling. Shannon nods her head and says she's learned that it's okay and to draw strength from it and that she's not a weak person for feeling this. Uh, yes she is. And crazy. Shannon says she's ready for John.

John. Walking. Shannon shudders. Mark L. Walberg stares. John smiles at Shannon. Shannon looks down. To Mark L. Walberg. John! Shannon! John! Commercials.

Back. Mark L. Walberg, leaning in, desperate to be accepted and talked to and loved. He gives Shannon time to "speak from [her] heart" and tells John to listen. Just listen. Just listen, fucker. Oh yeah, and smirk righteously. That's what you do best.

Shannon. Here come the dramatics. Okay. So Shannon says that this was the hardest thing she's ever had to do in her whole life. She says that she met ten of the greatest guys and "three" of the greatest girls she's met in her life. (Which of the four, including Genevieve, is she leaving out? Which of the boy hos?) John also starts with the dramatics, putting his fist to his face and crying and shit. God. The both of them. They deserve to be together. Forever. She goes on to say that all these people were her friends and she decided after about ten days she should surround herself with the most positive influence on the island (Chester, the dog?) and there was so much negative going on and (cry, cry) she hated it. (In other words, she hated watching people get together on fucking Temptation Island 2 -- GOD she pisses me off.) She begins the Kevin bullshit that she got really close to him and his Gigantic Soul Patch and he's a great guy and John should know this and he's crying too and fuck off. Kevin has passion and Shannon learned a lot from him. On their final date, they learned and "went really, really deep" and she needs to learn to respect herself and their relationship and she cries that she's sorry she's taken John and their relationship for granted and "mothered" him and put up a wall and judged him by standards of her past but John is not her past but, she hopes, her future. She wants to fight and cherish and she's sorry she hasn't and if that's what she takes away from this and even if John doesn't want to, it's good and her love has grown stronger and that's her decision. "I love you," says Shannon. "We don't give a fuck," says America.

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Temptation Island




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