Temptation Island
Putting The "Ow" Back In "Power Dating"

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Let's Go To The Videotape

Crap. Power Date Montage time. Someone hands someone a flower, and that someone is "touched." Rossi greets Shannon. Nice and "real" ho Katie tells Tommy that in terms of ice cream flavors, she wants a man who is Mint Chocolate Cookie. (I know. Gay. This whole thing.) Goddamn, this is funny: Tony asks Pink, "Are you upset you got blocked from me?" and Pink says, "No." Heeeee. Heeeeeeeeeeee. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Ass. Someone lies to Edmundo and says his eyes are sexy. He doesn't know how to react. Catherine asks some boy ho whether he's ever cheated. I don't know what happens after that, because the oil on Catherine's big ol' falsies catches the sun and I'm blinded for the rest of the shot. The PhD black girl ho says that she's afraid to be alone with Edmundo. Edmundo reddens.

More. A girl ho doesn't understand Tommy's ice cream question. He tries to explain it. She still doesn't. (Editors: nice job with his montage. Kinda funny, I hate to admit.) Tony asks the rocker(?) girl ho whom she'd least like to go on her dream date with. "Probably you," says the girl ho. Hee. Heeeee. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE heeeeeeeee. Ass, again. Hillary tells John that her favorite drink is a "Sloe Comfortable Screw." If a girl ho gave me that as an answer, I might just have to kick her, it's so stupid. Rossi says that he's "all about the romance." Tony, not having had enough yet, asks the girl ho who sounds like she's smoked three packs a day since puberty whether she'd want to go out on a date with him. "Sure," she says, like she just found an extra dime in her pocket she didn't know she had. Like, "Wow. A dime."

The power dating is over. Thanks. They pick now. Genevieve's first pick is Keebler Tom. Mark L. Walberg reveals that Catherine also picked Keebler Tom. Keebler Tom confuses and frightens me. People are clapping, and Catherine instinctively starts smiling, assuming the applause is for her, because that's what usually happens after she slides down the pole at the strip club using only her vagina to grip on. Keebler Tom is going to have to pick between the snake and the stripper, and Genevieve blames Catherine for putting them in this position. Commercials.

Mark L. Walberg thinks Keebler Tom is a stud. So does Tony, it seems, as Keebler Tom walks past him. Keebler Tom picks Genevieve. Catherine is sad. Keebler Tom camera-talks that he thinks Genevieve is a "character," and that's why he wanted to go out with her. Catherine's second choice is Marble Mouth Jeff. He camera-talks that he's going to show Catherine how she should be treated. Nikkole gets Ali, the short Arab dude. He does another basketball pose. Huh. Ali camera-talks that Tommy should be worried about Ali with his girlfriend. Shannon picks "hick" Rossi.

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Temptation Island

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