Temptation Island
Putting The "Ow" Back In "Power Dating"

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | Grade It Now!
Let's Go To The Videotape

Genevieve. She's shocked Tony wanted to see the tape. "Who picked Tony?" asks Genevieve, along with the rest of the world. She watches the tape. It's the Tori Spelling "older" blonde. She says she likes Tony the most and they'll see where it goes. "She's a bright girl," jokes Genevieve. Hee. "She was saying all the good things I like about Tony." Huh. Maybe she's not kidding, as she says that she's glad someone is looking out for him. Shannon says that the tape was cute. "Is it cute?" asks Mark L. Walberg. They say it was. He gives the most toolish smile I've ever seen. I so wish I could paste it here. Man. He moves on. We get a quick shot of Donna (the Tori girl) and Tony dancing.

Catherine is happy she gets to watch. It's Tiffani. She loves Edmundo and says they had a good date and she loved the massage and he got wild last night and she holds no judgment and she wants to spend "a lot" more time with him. Catherine is sad. "It was sweet," Catherine lies. "It sounds like he's having a good time. I'm happy for him." Her lip quivers. Oh. Poor Catherine. Lord.

Shannon thinks if John went first he wouldn't choose to watch. If he went last, he would. She's wrong. He went last, and didn't want to watch. She's happy, she lies, saying that John doesn't want to hurt her. She's wrong again, because John was protecting his own fragile girly feelings. Mark L. Walberg hints that he can't tell Shannon of John's reasoning, and she tells him he doesn't have to -- she knows. No, she doesn't. Shannon's smile crumbles.

Mark L. Walberg -- angry and sad by now, as he is after every interaction he has with women -- gives the girls the opportunity to make the videos for their guys. Shannon will. Catherine "absolutely" will. "Absolutely," Genevieve concurs. Nikkole nods. Bonfire is over. Mark L. Walberg goes to look for a milkshake. Milkshakes take the pain away in their creamy goodness. Like Mommy.

Catherine camera-talks, crying that she thinks she'd lose it if Edmundo made a "connection." We see Hillary licking Edmundo's neck. Aw.

Hey, there is no show next week. Oh, Thanksgiving. Now we're going to have to hang with our families and be thankful and shit instead of watching more hoing. Dammit.

In two weeks...the couples get to vote off an opposite-sex ho. The ladies clash, Nikkole wanting to keep someone the others want to boot. She's mad. Meanwhile, the men continue to pursue the girls. Edmundo says there are some "hotties," and refers to them as "talent." Hm. "Meanwhile," says the Dramatic Deep Voice -- making it sound like we're watching Roots or The Day After as opposed to this slutfest -- Keebler Tom gets Catherine away from Rossi for the third date. They put mud on each other. Keebler Tom tells us that Rossi should focus on Shannon. Rossi says that he bets on himself for getting Catherine. Meanwhile, Edmundo gives in to Hillary. He tells us he has a "connection" with her. Now they're in bed and she's spreading her legs and sucking his finger. They make out. He tells us he didn't think that, in ten days, that kind of "emotion" could evolve. Someone told these morons the wrong damn definition of "emotion" and "connection" somewhere along the lines.

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Temptation Island




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