Temptation Island

Episode Report Card
Stee: A- | 551 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Reality Bites. Mark L. Walberg Blows.

Ah, back to Mark L. Walberg. I guess we don't see all the girl pleas because there is no Britt. Fuckers. "Think about the days to come and who you want to share those with." The guys huddle together, saying that they think they should stick with their gut instincts, adding that the "pitches" threw them and that some of the girls they didn't really think were cool seem so much cooler now. They sit down. The guys say that one of them had to be swayed and that "this one is a shocker." No one wants to deliver the Necklace of Buh-Bye, so Mark L. Walberg throws it to the only guy he thinks he could actually beat up – Andy -- and makes him do it. "Whoa. This is rough," lisps Kaya. All the guys hang their heads, especially Billy, who looks like he wants to run away. Andy is out on the peer and tells the girl hos that he wants to make it as painless as possible. So he walks right up to Lola and hangs the albatross around her neck. Andy calls her "sweetheart" and Lola says, "Oh, you don't care for me? Nobody loves me." Meanwhile, Taheed says that he "didn't want it." Lola says she's going to cry as Andy tells us that Lola did nothing for him and that, once you get to know her, the looks don't matter anymore. Ouch. He violates her by hugging her even more while she cries. Lola then tells us that Andy is "King Bee," and that the first night she told him all the stuff she did, and we get a sepia replay of her telling Andy that she's a model and that she makes money and that she just bought a house in Van Nuys. You guys know that Van Nuys is like the porn capital of America, right? I'm just sayin'. So then Lola brats that if a woman is "too up there, doing well, he's not going to like it." Wow. Whatever you say, sister. She forgets the fact that the other three guys, well two at least, also didn't like her. She leaves in slo-mo, crying. "I am so shocked!" says Mark L. Walberg, the fawning prick tool dickface, spreading his arms wide open in this meek but still hostly manner. Billy tells us that when he first met Lola she drunkenly said, "Why the hell haven't you met me yet?" and he didn't like her from then on. The girls wave to Lola, and for some reason Britt is hugging one of the other girl hos as they leave. So maybe that's why she isn't getting a lot of screen time. Although, that could make her very popular on an island like this. Lola disappears out of the harbor. L-O-L-A, Lola. B-U-H-B-Y-E, Buh-bye.

Temptation Island

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