So, we get the "Blind Dates Arrive" montage as, well, the blind dates arrive. Um, is it technically a blind date if the people have met before? I don't mean to get technical here, but knowing that your date is one of thirteen "hot singles" chosen specifically based on what you like in a mate is a bit easier and less risky than going out with your friend's cousin Jennie from Ontario who's in town for "aboot" one week to see the Tragically Hip show at the Troubador. So after the very confusing Blind Date Arrival montage, we see the first set of dates: Kaya and Valerie's.
First is Kaya, who gets to date Alison, the twenty-eight-year-old Playboy model / doctor who probably had to give up the extra "s" in her name to pay for Med. School. (I also don't mean to be more snarky than usual, but yo, do you really think she's a doctor? Like a real doctor, and not like just some self-proclaimed "Doctor of Footrubs" or something?) So Kaya tells us that Alison is just his type (of course, except for that not-having-balls-and-a-three-o'clock-shadow thing) and that he likes how she spent all night last night getting ready for their date (which, given the fact that she's just wearing a tank top and little make-up, is not understandable -- unless of course she got that boob job just last night). So then Alison breaks it down with the efficiency of words, if not accuracy, that we'd expect from a Playboy model: "He's a really hot guy." Now we meet Charlie, Valerie's twenty-eight-year-old talent-coordinator date. How much you wanna bet that "Talent Coordinator" means that he introduces girls over the sound system at a strip club in Miami Beach? He goes on to say that because they both live in the same city and because Valerie is physically attractive, "[he] thought it might be an excellent date it might be really, really cool." Valerie goes on to say that the date started off roughly, as she was on a boat heading out and she came across Kaya and Alison, laughing and having a really good time. Bad news. Sorry Charlie. We get slo-mo shots of the two "couples" as Valerie says that it made her "sick." Well, you know what makes me -- oh my God! Commercial already! In the immortal words of Inside The Actor's Studio host James Lipton last week with Mike Meyers, "You know, sometimes, life is very good."