Now we move on to "Andy and Shannon's Blind Dates." Andy's date is the twenty-five-year-old and very cute Megan, a school teacher. Seriously, my school teachers never looked like this. I thought my fourth grade teacher, the buxom Canadian Ms. Levy was something special, but I think I was swayed by the fact that she taught us about the vagina. Because of that, I even forgave her that she made us learn the capitals of all the provinces. Although, the word Saskatchewan still makes me giggle. So Megan water-skis as Andy sings the praises of Megan. Megan then lies to us that Andy is "cute" and that he's on her "Cute List." What, the list of Billy, Taheed, Kaya, and Andy? Yeah, I bet he could make the list of the top four most eligible bachelors on her side of the island, too. Slo-mo water-skiing. Blah. So now we're in a plane as we meet Shannon's date, the twenty-nine-year-old Matt, a public relations manager. Shannon tells us the first thing that turned her on about Matt was that he said if anything happened, he's sure it would be a slow, over-a-long-period-of-time process. Yeah, I've said the exact same thing as I pulled off a girl's pants. Anyway, Shannon and Matt head to a baboon sanctuary where they watch monkeys run around and yell at each other. Next we see Andy and Megan at "Shark Ray Alley." A group of sharks hang around as they sit on the edge of the boat. Andy keeps touching Megan on the legs as he then tells us that he is a leg man. He goes on to say that Megan has about a "eight-and-a-half" in terms of legs while his girlfriend is "right behind" her with an "eight." Diss. Now Shannon's Matt goes on to tell us that he is a "booty man" and that he doesn't care about breasts -- though, he tells us, Shannon has a great pair. Shannon and Matt toast to being "in the same frame of mind." My cat jumps up and slaps me in the face, telling me that I promised her Road Rules was over for the season. I try to explain that this is actually a different show, but she just pukes on my fax machine and stalks off.
Episode Report CardStee: A- | 551 USERS: C+
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