Temptation Island
The Blind Date

Episode Report Card
Stee: B+ | Grade It Now!
Reality Bites. Mark L. Walberg Blows.

Mark L. Walberg goes on to ask the boys if they are getting that old butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling, being around girls and being "single" once again. Kaya offers that it's more than that, as things have gotten very "serious." He goes on to explain that there are three or four "self-proclaimed crocodiles" among the girl hos who will "stop at nothing to get [them]." Mark L. Walberg asks if that scares or intrigues them. "Both," says Billy. "Now there really is a game," says Mark L. Walberg, not sounding scripted At All. The men all nod and stare at each other in retarded contemplation and seriousness. You'd think they were discussing California's energy crisis or North Korea's nuclear threat, not a few girls who might or might not want to fuck them.

"Mata Chica" -- which we learn is the name of the Women's Resort. Maceo plays his guitar, all happy with his short self. Man, things are getting wild: a game of horseshoes is jumping off. Mark L. Walberg, who sure gets around that damn island, meets with the women, who all lounge around. Without her normal two pounds of make-up, Mandy is very, very pink. Cute, but very pink. Mark L. Walberg tools that for years they've been part of couples, and now they are going to be dating. He asks if there are any "butterflies." "Absolutely," answers Shannon, looking very much like Cameron Diaz, without the height, and the huge payday. The girls tell on Shannon, that she couldn't eat breakfast. I don't get Yahtzee -- she's this very adult, very bitchy thing most of the time, but then at times like this she gets silly and fun. I guess just like Yahtzee itself, she's a game of chance. Mark L. Walberg, employing a hand-to-head spinny gesture that they teach in Fake Probst School, asks Shannon what's going on in her head. Shannon replies, "I just haven't done this in so long." I know how Shannon feels, but if she stays with Andy, I have the feeling that sooner or later she's going to be forced right back into this position anyway. Yes, one should not judge another person's relationship, but hey, that's why I'm here. Very important point: they chose to put their lives in front of the world. They also chose to allow Mark L. Walberg to tell them to "go back to [their] rooms," and wait for their dates to knock on their doors.

So, we get the "Blind Dates Arrive" montage as, well, the blind dates arrive. Um, is it technically a blind date if the people have met before? I don't mean to get technical here, but knowing that your date is one of thirteen "hot singles" chosen specifically based on what you like in a mate is a bit easier and less risky than going out with your friend's cousin Jennie from Ontario who's in town for "aboot" one week to see the Tragically Hip show at the Troubador. So after the very confusing Blind Date Arrival montage, we see the first set of dates: Kaya and Valerie's.

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Temptation Island




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