Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

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Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
Forget It, Dude. Let’s Go Bowling.
s but then finally gives in, as a favour to Jesse, he says, and points them to Walter Ostrowski, from Toluca Lake.

Outside the shop, Sarah asks Derek who Jesse is. "He came back with me. He handled the diamonds," says Derek, adding, with a jerk of his chin toward Cameron, "One of them killed him."

Meanwhile, Chrome Artie and Jody are driving around, with Jody nattering away and Chrome Artie presumably doing everything he can not to stick something sharp into her brain. She offers him gum, and he turns it down, and he says, "You sure? It's cinnamon," like cinnamon is some magical rare thing that can't be easily obtained, and he blessedly ignores her. She asks if it would kill him to make some conversation. "No, it wouldn't kill me," he says, not even looking at her. She tells him he's funny in his own cop way, and he says he's not a cop. "You're not a cop, you're not an uncle, you're just some guy who wants to kick the crap out of little Miss Bitch and her brother." "Just some guy," confirms Chrome Artie, and XXXX asks if Cameron tried to kill him too. Yes, says Chrome Artie, and Jody says this is going to be interesting, and the chances of Jody surviving this episode at all are rapidly dwindling.

So instead of cleaning up the damn house, John is doing what any teenage boy would probably think to do: call his girlfriend and go replenish the food supply. Riley's amazed that whoever it was stole the food, and bets John's mom must have freaked. "Yeah. At me," says John, and Riley asks why, and John is all, "The alarm code?" Riley gasps. "Did I forget?"

Meanwhile, entering the store are Chrome Artie and Jody, who's nattering away about how she wasn't actually there, but this is where Cameron was busted. Then she grabs some cookies from a shelf and says, "You are so buying me these pink and whites, and that's all there is to it," and Chrome Artie magnificently refrains from strangling her right there and starts showing Cameron's picture to cashiers.

Riley apologizes profusely to John, while he tells her it wouldn't have stopped the break-in, but it might have stopped the picnic. And Chrome Artie strides down an aisle with Jody only now feeling like "this is getting a little shady!" because Chrome Artie saying he's going to hurt Cameron is fine, but going to the grocery store is "a little shady."

"Does she hate me now?" says Riley, and John tells her not to sweat it, as "it's a long list," like, way to sell out your mom. In the very next aisle is Jody yammering away at Chrome Artie, saying people would probably like him more if he opened up a little, and then she's distracted by food again, like she's my great Dane when you wave a Dentabone in front of her face, and she touches a display of some canned goods that all come tumbling down, like NICE STACK JOB, STOCK BOY, and Chrome Artie is distracted by Jody's mind-bogglingly annoying idiocy long enough for Riley and John to walk past, not that they notice Chrome Artie either.

So let's check in with Ellison, who's standing in a police lineup and being confidently picked out. "That's the guy! That's definitely the guy!" says some white-haired dude. During the interrogation, Ellison says he doesn't know any Peter Myers, and the detective says the witness who picked him out recognized Ellison from the news a couple weeks back. Ellison, for some reason, needs some prodding to remember why he was on the news, and the detective starts talking about the FBI team that was slaughtered, and suggests Ellison's going a little crazy from survivor guilt. "By now you're drowning in guilt, I'm guessing," says the detective. Ellison wants to talk to his lawyer now, so the detective says fine, and gets up to leave, before asking, Columbo-style, one final question: "Why did you steal his clothes?" Ellison's all, wha? "You were naked when you killed him," says the detective. Well, if that's true, I should think it would be kind of obvious why Ellison stole Myers' clothes. "I told you. It wasn't me," says Ellison.

"Your alibi isn't exactly iron-clad, Jim," says the detective, "unless you've got a twin brother I don't know about." Then, for anyone who's an utter moron AND missed the beginning of the episode, we flash back to Ellison's doppleganger busting down his front door.

Speaking of busting down the front door, Cameron and Sarah visit Dr. Walter Ostrowski's office, and ignore the receptionist who tells them the doctor is busy with patients. They walk in on the dentist working on some woman's mouth, and tell the doctor he has something that belongs to them. They have a friend in common in the diamond district, says Sarah. "Moishe," says the doctor, who invites them to talk in his office, just across the hall. He follows them, but then makes a break for it outside, and manages to get all the way to his car, which is amazing given that he's an older overweight dude being chased by a TERMINATOR and everything. Guess it must be hard to run in hip-huggers that tight. Cameron punches through Ostrowski's window, and then rips the door right off the hinges, like RIGHT OUT IN PUBLIC, and Ostrowski starts begging them not to kill him, saying he'll pay Moishe all the money he owes him, which is up in his office. Sarah, annoyed, tells Cameron to let him go, because the dentist isn't the guy who robbed him. But they WILL take the money, though.

With Cameron taking Ostrowski back to fetch the cash, an annoyed Sarah asks Derek if they're here to be the collections agency for his fence. Derek points out they're there because the security system failed: "Why we're here is because that boy behaves less like John Connor and more like John Baum every day," he snaps. Yes! That's what I'm saying! Sarah's all, don't you talk about my baby like that! and says he's been through more than Derek will ever know, which is a fairly stupid thing to say to someone who's actually lived to see the apocalypse and lost a brother and countless friends to it. "Right back at you," is Derek's succinct way of putting it.

The Connor Crew pays another visit to Moishe, but manages to get through the security gate on their own, surprising the jeweler. "My friends..." he says, but Cameron sends his bodyguard flying with one punch. Sarah holds up his wad of cash and ask if that's what he's looking for. Moishe tries to pretend it's simply a "you do something for me, I do something for you" type of deal, but it's hard to pretend you're an equal partner when Sarah Connor is holding a gun on you. He gives up Tristan Dewitt, a loser friend of his cousin's who lives in Reseda, as the guy who stole their diamonds. As the Connor Crew clears out, Moishe looks at his bodyguard, crumpled in a heap in the rubble of some shelves. "You killed Liko," he says. "Not yet," deadpans Cameron.

Jody's rapidly getting bored of tagging along with Chrome Artie, who seems to be stopping and questioning every single person he sees. "Do you even know how many people live in L.A. County?" she asks? Well, shut up then, and let him keep going. Chrome Artie says that since the Connors have been seen more than once at the grocery store, it's likely they live in a one-mile radius. So, you know, an afternoon of canvassing ought to cover it. Jody's had enough, and snaps that she is done "hanging out with a creepy stalker" and says she only came with him to "get back at that bitch," and then admits that she also thought Chrome Artie was kind of cute. "But you know what? You're not cute. You're frickin' Silence of the Lambs."

Chrome Artie says nothing, but slows to a stop in the middle of the street, and then gives Jody a hard forearm, knocking her right out the door, onto her ass. "Freak!" she yells at him, unaware of how lucky she is to be alive to keep annoying the people around her.

Derek strolls around a pool filled with women who, collectively, aren't wearing as much clothing as he's got on. Doing her best to keep the thread count down is Jesse, lying on her stomach reading a book. Derek comes over and stands there staring at her ass for a while until she tells him he's blocking the sun. He t

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Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles




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