Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

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Sleepwalking in Your Footsteps
Heat and Air. "Come on. What kind of heat and air factory needs that kind of security?" The best damn heat and air factory in the country, that's who! She asks what Sarah did there, and Sarah, sounding like she hadn't got around to working out that part of the lie yet, says she ran a coffee and sandwich cart: "I never knew what went on there." No one did, said Diana, who says Ed never talked about it and whenever she asked, he'd just shut down. "So I stopped asking. We all did." None of this is your fault, Sarah tells her. Diana starts wailing about how Ed was a decent man, no matter what was going on there. "Decent people can get caught up in things," says Sarah. Diana looks at her for a few minutes before pulling out a key ring that she says she found going through Ed's things, keys that she hadn't seen before. "This one's for a storage locker," she tells Sarah, who correctly figures out that the Winstons didn't actually have a storage locker. Diana says she's been meaning to check it out, but she's been too scared: "So I tell myself some doors are better left unopened." Not this one, says Sarah...

... who takes the key and checks out the jam-packed storage locker herself. Diana didn't even tag along? Inside is boxes, and furniture, some lacrosse... mallets? Sticks? You'd think I'd know this. Lacrosse is Canada's official summer sport. There's also a heap of bloody towels that Sarah nudges with her foot. Bad nosebleeds?

PROCESSIONAL: The hearses make their way through Charm Acres' streets, along with trucks bearing the pictures of the victims. I imagine those are so you know which hearse has which body. Helpful! Walsh appears to be having some vehicle difficulty: he can't get into his truck. But there's a big shiny truck pulling up beside him: it's Derek, who says it looks like Walsh needs a lift, and Walsh gratefully accepts.

Riding slowly along in the funeral procession, Derek offers his condolences. "Thanks, but it's not my funeral," says Walsh, adding that he's an OSHA investigator. Derek notices a ring on his finger that I guess tells Derek that Walsh was a cop, and he says something about how OSHA must be different from being a cop. Walsh glances at his ring like he didn't realize it would blow his cover, but admits to being a cop for twenty-three years in Baltimore. Twenty-three years? Homicide: Life on the Street didn't last nearly that long. He asks if Derek's a local, and Derek says his wife worked at the plant and knew a lot of the people, so Walsh offers his condolences. Derek asks what he thinks happened. "I think it's too early to tell," says Walsh, and Derek gets him to admit he wouldn't say what he thought happened even if he knew. "You know, some people say it wasn't an accident," says Derek, who is completely abandoning any pretence of being an innocent observer. He adds that people say there was a whole lot more going on up there than heating and air conditioning, and Walsh is all, like what? "That's what I'm asking you," says Derek, like Walsh is going to answer that. Instead he just asks what Derek would do if he knew something was going on up there. "Absolutely nothing," says Derek.

The funeral procession has come to a standstill, which Walsh uses as an opportunity to get out of the truck. "I think I'm gonna walk the rest of the way," he says. "No problem," says Derek, who then wishes him luck with the rest of the investigation. Walsh gets out and stands on the side of the road while Derek drives on, staring at him in the rearview mirror. That's some nice subtle detective work, Derek.

Meanwhile, Sarah has told Diana that there was nothing in the storage locker. Oh my god, you guys! She totally forgot about the bloody towels! Sarah has amnesia! "I did not know that man. I loved him, but I didn't know him," says Diana. "Sometimes that's for the best," says Sarah, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. Diana's got more surprises in store: Ed called her three days ago, just before he died. "He must have accidentally dialed my cellphone," she says. She's got a recording of it: it's Ed's side of the conversation with Sarah right before they struggled and Ed got shot. We don't hear Sarah's voice on the tape, just her grunting as she struggles with Ed. Diana's crying, listening to it. "What happened to him, Sarah?" she says. For a brief second I thought she had heard Sarah's voice on the tape and so recognized Sarah's voice when she showed up at the memorial.

In another part of the procession, Cameron and John have managed to bum a ride with Zoe and Henry, and -- oh my god! Henry is played by that kid from Picket Fences! He looks almost exactly the same, only bigger, you know? Like someone took a picture of him in Photoshop and increased it and put a suit on him. Anyway, Zoe is moaning about how she doesn't want to die here, and she hates all these people and doesn't relate to them (which pisses Henry off), and she wants to blow off the funeral and just hit the highway and drive until they get to someplace amazing, like the Grand Canyon, and John helpfully sticks his nose in by saying he went there as a kid, and they have a boring conversation about it just so Zoe can say she got a postcard from there, prompting Henry to snap that if she starts talking about "Mike Thompson" again, he's getting out of the car. Since he's such a crab, that doesn't sound like the world's worst threat or anything. Anyway, Thompson was Zoe's ex-boyfriend. "And he was a good guy," she says, making Henry roll his eyes, "until he ditched me." John asks what happened, like I can't think of a conversation I'd like to have less with gloomy Zoe here. She says Mike was like all the rest of them: his mom worked at the plant. He was just a normal, funny guy who liked to play lacrosse, she says, at which point we flashback to Sarah finding lacrosse sticks in the locker room. Zoe goes on to say that apparently his mom violated some kind of confidentiality agreement, because they just up and left in the middle of the night (flashback to Sarah nudging the bloody towels with her foot) and Mike hadn't said a word to her about it. John and Cameron exchange glances. They must have seen the flashbacks too! A few months later, she got a postcard from Mike at the Grand Canyon. It was so sweet too, the way he wrote about how he totally wasn't dead or anything but had just left town. "He was a real prize," says Henry, all snide. "Shut up, Henry!" says Zoe. "Why don't you think about somebody beside yourself for once, huh?" says Henry, adding that she's not the only one who's lost someone. He's not wrong. A humourless douchebag, yes, but he's not wrong. "Zoe's not in love with you," Cameron informs him. Hee! Henry flips out and slams on the brakes, and almost gets rear-ended by the car behind him. He wants Cameron and John out of the car, and isn't going to move until that happens. John nervously eyes the motorcycle cop, part of the funeral escort, and so he gets out of the back, yanks Henry out of the driver's seat and shoves him in the back. Rather spinelessly, Henry just puts on his seatbelt and says, "What the hell is going on!" as John starts driving. Zoe says she can't deal with another funeral, and then asks if they want to see something amazing. I would love to see something amazing. Something amazing, like, say, explosions and guns and battling terminators, is far preferable to watching miserable people yell at each other at a funeral. Six Feet Under ended years ago.

So they make a right and pull out of the funeral procession and drive up to a pond or a little lake surrounded by dead cattle. Zoe says you'll be out there one day and they'll be lying dead like that, and the next day they'll be gone. "Like Mike," says Cameron. "Yeah, like Mike," says Zoe, instead of, "No, Mike didn't die, he just left, Cameron." Henry chalks it up to "idiots with guns" but Cameron points out that there are no bullet wounds. "What are you, Dr. Quinn, medicine woman?" says Zoe, because you need a medical degree to tell that someone hasn't been shot. John su

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Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

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