Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Come on, Eileen
So in the present day Riley's helping John scrape the wallpaper off the walls and listening to him talk about how this wallpaper is his mom's subconscious way of keeping him a kid, and he goes to pull a flake of paper out of her hair and she recoils and he sees she's hiding a bruise on her left temple. He demands to know who did it to her, but she wants him to drop it, and he asks if it was her stepfather: "I'll kick his ass!" says John, and oddly enough the laugh track didn't kick in at that point. Riley runs off, telling John to leave it alone.

Weaver is trying to cajole Ellison into teaching John Henry right from wrong (via the former Chrome Artie) since his religious faith and paternal instinct makes him such a good candidate, and Dr. Sherman isn't around anymore, and Ellison makes the very good point that Dr. Sherman isn't around because JOHN HENRY KILLED HIM, and Weaver says, "It wasn't murder. You said so yourself," which I'm sure will be great comfort to him when John Henry bakes him alive or whatever. Ellison's scared of what happens when John Henry realizes just how powerful it is. "Cows are more powerful than humans. I'd still rather be the farmer with a gun," says Weaver, which makes almost no sense whatsoever.

Sarah and Eileen are in some UFO-themed diner, which really just consists of aluminum pie plates hanging from the ceiling, and Eileen says Abraham was seen here a week ago, according to an anonymous posting in a UFO chat room, and this would be the point where if I were Sarah I'd cut my losses and just get up and leave, and Sarah's not really into nutjob UFO web sites, and she just wants to talk to Abraham, and Eileen excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Sarah looks around at the pink-uniformed waitresses for a moment, and then is startled to see herself in a white tanktop sitting in the booth, across the table. She's carved "NO FATE" into the table and is spinning a knife around. So Sarah gets up and stomps into the women's room to demand Eileen take her to Abraham. And since he's taking off his wig and washing off his makeup, it looks like he's doing just that.

So apparently Sarah waits until they get all the way back to Eileen's (actually, Allan Park's) trailer for an explanation. Allan explains his life was in danger and he needed to hide. He says a few years after MIT he went to work for an aerospace company, and it was there he was approached by a firm that needed his expertise with lidar. And let's just get this out of the way now: since this is supposed to be a man pretending to be a woman, wouldn't it have made more sense to cast a man and dress him up as a woman, rather than cast a woman to play a man dressing as a woman? Does that make too much sense? Anyway, Allan says the company treated them well, but he has no idea what the project was because everyone signed non-disclosure agreements and everyone was working in isolation, and he had access to technology he'd never seen before. So, in a really BRILLIANT move for someone working on something so clearly top-secret, he started BLOGGING about it in the hopes that someone could tell him what he was dealing with. Then strange things started to happen: his apartment was broken into, his brakes were cut, and that's when he took all his money out of the bank and went into hiding. "Some disguise," says Sarah, and Allan says he couldn't take the risk. "You took a risk with me," points out Sarah, and Allan says something vague about how she seemed to know something he didn't about it. Yeah, you know who else might know something you don't about it, Allan? The people TRYING TO KILL YOU. Sarah asks if he's got any proof, and Allan admits to stealing a piece of it that he's got stored in a safe, so Sarah wants to saddle up. "It's not safe," he says. Sarah shows him her gun. "It never is," she answers.

And while Riley stares into the mirror at the bathroom of the Connor Compound, we flash back to her and Jesse sitting in a car talking about whether she's ready for this, and Riley stares at her nail polish and worries that it's too bright, and the makeup woman told her she was an "autumn." "I've never even seen autumn," says Riley. Jesse could not be less interested in what Riley's blathering on about than if she were me. Riley wonders why Jesse chose her; she's always meant to ask. "But you didn't," says Jesse, barely listening, too busy scanning the school parking lot. Anyway, it's too late now for this conversation, because there's John Connor standing nearby, only it's pre-haircut, which explains why he has what appears to be a muskrat pelt on his head. Riley gets out of the car and follows him as he walks away all mopey and wearing an animal carcass.

Back at the Connor Compound, Riley puts some more makeup on the bruise, then heads out into the hall, where Cameron is hanging out waiting for her. Cameron asks Riley where she got that bruise, and Riley makes up a story about falling into a door that's rather obviously a lie, and she moves to get past Cameron, who wants to look at her star tattoo on her right wrist. "It's tight," says Cameron, gripping Riley's wrist to look at it. John shows up just in time for Cameron and Riley to act all cryptic about it, and Cameron announces she's just thinking about getting a tattoo. "We need to talk," says Cameron, and John glances at Riley, who takes the opportunity to bugger off.

So Ellison's outside church, where apparently he's been a no-show lately, judging from the mild admonishment he gets from the priest, I'm assuming, who chats with him, and Ellison talks about how he came from a big family, so when he and Lila were talking about starting a family, he wanted four to five kids, while she wanted three, maybe four, and the priest points out to Captain Mathematics here that there appears to be some overlap there. But not only that, Lila graduated from the academy on Sept. 1, 2001, and then ten days later certain events made her not want to bring any children into the world. Look, I was disappointed in the Bob Dylan album released that day too, but that's no reason not to have a family. Understandable reaction, says the priest. But the problem, Ellison tells him, is that she was already pregnant. "I didn't find out until after she'd terminated it," he says. LILA'S A TERMINATOR TOO? I did NOT see that coming! The priest says when Ellison called today and said he wanted guidance, was it about Lila? Ellison says no. Was it about the child? Ellison says he doesn't know. Well, good thing we've spent the last couple of minutes moping about it. This is all time that could have been spent killing things and shooting at things.

So Sarah and Allan are at the warehouse where Allan's got this safe with the extra-secure "plastic tarp over top" option, and he opens up the safe and there's nothing in there but an empty envelope. "It's gone!" he says, and he swears to Sarah that it was there, and Sarah's all, I'm OUT of here, and stomps off, Allan chasing. Outside the warehouse, some black-clad motorcycle rider revs up and pulls out an Uzi, or some kind of handheld submachine gun. Sarah pulls Allan down and gets her own gun out to fire a few shots when the biker makes another pass. The driver flips off the bike but quickly gets back on and speeds off.

So back at the trailer (yeah, THAT'S a smart move), Sarah and Allan yell at each other, with Sarah saying she wants the truth and Allan insisting that he doesn't know anything. "You're a fake," Sarah says, and Allan calls her the exact same thing: "You're a mother. You're a seeker. You're a soldier. You're everything," and I find myself hitting fast-forward. "I'm a man who lives as a woman. You're a woman who lives --" he starts, but he never gets to finish it because Sarah's got her gun pointed right at him. Eventually, he shuts up about how he was almost killed.

Maybe if he had been killed, we wouldn't have to listen to more blah-blah about how despite everything that's happened, he doesn't hate the people he worked for, because he used to be a cog in a machine but now he's doing something he believes in, or whatever. Honestly, I can barely keep my eyes open at this point. "Eileen" says the old Allan Park is dead. "I was a waitress. They killed her too," says Sarah. Now we're just killing time. She asks about the lab Allan worked at, and he says he has no idea where it is, since they picked everyone up in a windowless van to take them to and from work every day. Sarah says she thinks she knows someone who might be able to help, and she hands over a pamphlet for Dr. Barbara Morris the "hypno-regression therapist," the lecturer at the UFO conference.

So now Ri

Previous 1 2 3 4Next

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP