Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before

Outside, Chrome Artie has decided to join the party by driving right up to the bank and walking in, because while the entire goddamn police force is staking out the bank, no one thought of cordoning off the area. Artie checks out the SWAT team waiting to make their move, comes to the conclusion that they pose no threat, and walks right through the glass door into the back. The police officers do nothing. Maybe they thought Artie was a hostage negotiator?

In the safe-deposit vault the gang is still putting together its weapons-grade Lego when something pounds the safe wall. Artie pounds away outside while Cameron explains that it took their best engineer eight months to scavenge the parts for the amazing-looking gun being placed in Sarah's hands. "When the isotope solution turns red, fire," says Cameron. Sarah's all, "Uh, 'isotope'? Is this thing nuclear?" No, not really, "explains" Cameron, heading off to another area of the vault. She opens a box that contains an optical scanner that checks out her eyes, triggering the opening of a few more boxes. Which is good, because it's not like Cameron can just punch the doors in.

"The engineer got a job building the vault, so we'd always have a way back home." Inside the bigger boxes is a bunch of old-school machinery and a computer screen with a readout with such encouraging fields as "Current Date" and "Target Date." I think I saw a flux capacitor, but I can't be sure. "You want to stop Skynet? You want to kill Skynet?" asks Cameron. Well, stopping Skynet costs, Sarah. And this is where you start paying. In sweat. Artie has now ripped off enough of the door to stick an arm through and fire off some shots (since he can't hit them when he can see them, he's certainly going to miss when he's firing blind), and then he goes back to punching his way through. The computer says Target Date: 2007, and John really, really wants to follow the pretty Terminator lady into the future. Artie starts peeling the safe door from its frame, just as the isotope solution embedded the gun goes from yellow to red. "Do it!" Sarah yells at Cameron, who engages the whatsit. The familiar blue electrical bubble surrounds the trio as Sarah fires her weapon at Artie, popping his head off like a three-year-old does a dandelion.

The gang reappears in the middle of a busy freeway, sans clothes, causing many cars to swerve or skid to keep from hitting them. John looks as horrified as you can imagine, if you were to find yourself nude with a hot girl and your mom, both of whom are just as naked. Hilariously, it's Cameron who first seems to realize, "Hey, let's get out of here," and leads the three of them off the road and down into a nearby construction site. Sarah lingers long enough for some kid in a car to snap a picture with his cell phone.

The site's flashing roadside sign tells us it's September 2007. "Where are we?" asks Sarah. "Same where. Different when," says Cameron. So in just eight years this area of L.A. went from a busy commercial area to total freeway? That doesn't sound -- oh, right. Time-travel. Killer robots. Changing the future. I'm nitpicking over implausibly efficient rezoning and construction.

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Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles




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