MONDO EXTRAS

Suddenly, we're in a hospital ("Yeah, we've all been to parties like that") watching Sarah Connor do chin-ups. Dr. Condescension is out in the hall lecturing his patients on Sarah's acute schizo-affective disorder as orderlies drag struggling girls down the hallways. Apparently, Sarah is under the impression that a machine called a Terminator was sent back through time and you know what? I don't think the good doctor realizes that Sarah already covered this in the opening voice-over. I don't see why a sequel needs a double helping of exposition, but who am I to judge? I don't even have a nifty tweed jacket like Dr. Condescension. He directs his squad of students to peer through the window at Sarah after making fun of her delusions that the first movie happened.

Officer Robert (I'm sorry to keep referring to him and Arnold by the names of the actors, but the character names are "T-800" and "T-1000", and I don't think I'd be able to face myself in the morning if I went down that path) pulls into shot in his police car, and we get a good long look at the "To Protect and Serve" logo on the door. We're no longer in the hospital, by the way; the magic of cinema has whisked us away to the Foster residence. Robert Patrick seems almost human (that's what I kept saying about Doggett!) as he interviews Mr. and Mrs. Foster Parent, even giving them a thin-lipped little smile as he leaves with John's picture. See what I mean, here? This Terminator is in a police uniform, with a "protect and serve" sticker on his car, and he's smiling at the parents. If you didn't know anything but the first movie, you'd be convinced that this was the Good Terminator.

Meanwhile, at the Federal Security Bank, John and his friend (whose mullet keeps making me think of Corey Feldman) have a magical ATM-cracking device that lets them steal three hundred dollars. It seems that young John learned the arts of Electronics and Unconvincing Movie Gimcrackery from his "real mom", who would be Sarah. You remember Sarah, we just left her with Dr. Condescension. After some grilling by Not Corey Feldman, John snaps and says that his mom's a complete psycho; that's why she's at a mental institution. Which the audience already knew, having seen her there two minutes ago. There really isn't much plot to this movie, so I don't know why they feel the need to go over every point two or three times. We get the picture: Good Robot, Bad Robot. Fight!