All Bite

by Angel Cohn September 9, 2010
Fall Pilot Season: Terriers

They head off towards the front door of the beefy guy in a wifebeater, we see the dude inside with his bulldog Winston, opening the door to greet Hank. Hank starts a whole schpiel about how he's the pool cleaner, and make sure to check the address when he gets a perplexed look from the muscle-bound homeowner. Problem being, the house in question doesn't even have a pool. Hank asks if he can borrow a phone to call his home office to figure out what the problem is, and the guy is quite amenable. Nice change of pace, I was predicting he'd slam the door in his face, as it looks quite early in the morning. Meanwhile, we see Britt sticking his head through the dog door in the back trying to woo Winston. Homeowner guy is telling Hank a chummy story about his ex-wife who wants her furniture, but he told her he had to come steal it. Hank laughs along, but the best part of this whole exchange is that when the homeowner asks Hank if he's married, he dryly replies, "Not that I know of." OK, Hank has redeemed himself from getting that Carpenters song in my head... "just like me, they long to be... close to you..." Damn it. Not quite. Stupid Burt Bacharach and his catchy tunes. At least it isn't Turkey Lurkey time.

Britt's having trouble getting the dog to follow him, so he sneaks in through the back. Hank stalls for time by calling a fake phone number and pretending that there was just a simple mix up in addresses as instead of Casa Del Mar, it is Casa Del Madre. Meanwhile, a woman just keeps yelling, "no habla Ingles" at the telephone during the entire call. We see Britt grabbing Winston in the background, while the homeowner is none the wiser. Hank heads out of the house to the truck, while Britt comes running with the dog. Before he can put the pup in the cab of the truck, Hank locks the door and asks how much they are getting paid. Only unlimited free dry cleaning for two weeks, as the dog belongs presumably to the ex wife who works at a dry cleaner. Britt points out that it isn't like they have any thing else to do, while the home/dog owner comes out of the house yelling. In goes the dog, Britt hops in the back and they drive off with the muscle-bound guy yelling after them that he's going to get them. This does not bode well for these charming, if slacker-seeming guys.

At a diner, we see Winston sitting outside in the truck while the boys sit down for food. Britt's idea of washing his hands involves an ice cube at the table. Highly sanitary. Britt breaks the news that "their client" can't have pets at work, so they've got to keep the dog until 7 PM. Now their job is apparently dogsitting. Not like they seemingly have much else to do. A second later Gretchen's name pops up on Hank's cell. Hank says he's paid alimony and advises Britt to ignore the call... which of course he doesn't. Loving Britt, he seems like trouble. He asks Gretchen what she's wearing, and the says that Hank isn't there. Of course she's right outside the window and can see Hank wildly gesturing for Britt to hang up.

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