MONDO EXTRAS

The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Five

by The TWoP Staff August 13, 2004
The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Five To Paula Abdul, for this gem from the final night of competition in the third season: "You showed another talent as a true artist by reinventing yourself and showing that you'll never bore an audience by recreating yourself. And you forged commanding the audience. You never will bore them." -- Shack

The Becker Award For The Show Most People Don't Realize Is Still On, Because Despite Millions of Viewers, No One Knows Anyone Who Actually Watches It On Purpose
To ER, for zooming past cultural relevance on the wheels of a tank, getting lost in the bushy weeds of a puffy man-child's overgrown facial hair, and getting minced by the rotor of a vengeful helicopter. We defy you to find two out of any five people on the street who can name more than three people in the cast; it doesn't count if they identify Linda Cardellini on the strength of having looked her up because they loved the Scooby Doo travesties. Lock the doors, ER: Your story's long over and the rigs all have flat tires. -- Heathen

The Das Boot, Poseidon Adventure, Titanic -- What Do These Have In Common? Citation
We spent far too much time watching Jorja Fox's Sara have a colitis attack -- excuse us, "swoon with unrequited love" -- around William Petersen's Gil Grissom. And we hadn't signed up for this cruise on the forensic love boat. Aside from our contention that dating your supervisor is a bad idea, we'd also like to point out that in a department stocked with beefcake, going after the puffy, month-old soufflé hardly makes our toes curl in vicarious lust. We have never been so relieved to see the writers take a plotline out and sink it in front of us, and we hope the S.S. Geek Love stays sunk. -- Sobell

The Best Argument For Eating Your Young Award
The appeal of most workplace shows is that the colleagues are presented as surrogate family. And the appeal of CSI in the first few seasons was that these oddball investigators did have their moments where you knew they were looking out for each other. But this year's plotline about several CSIs competing for promotions was akin to watching the kids have a meltdown at the shopping mall the day after Thanksgiving while Mommy snarled, "I'll give you something to cry about!" and Daddy pretended he wasn't actually related to any of these people. And the way it ended? Let's just call that the equivalent to the hostile, sulk-filled silence on the drive home from the mall. -- Sobell

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The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Five

by The TWoP Staff August 13, 2004
The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Five To Paula Abdul, for this gem from the final night of competition in the third season: "You showed another talent as a true artist by reinventing yourself and showing that you'll never bore an audience by recreating yourself. And you forged commanding the audience. You never will bore them." -- Shack

The Becker Award For The Show Most People Don't Realize Is Still On, Because Despite Millions of Viewers, No One Knows Anyone Who Actually Watches It On Purpose
To ER, for zooming past cultural relevance on the wheels of a tank, getting lost in the bushy weeds of a puffy man-child's overgrown facial hair, and getting minced by the rotor of a vengeful helicopter. We defy you to find two out of any five people on the street who can name more than three people in the cast; it doesn't count if they identify Linda Cardellini on the strength of having looked her up because they loved the Scooby Doo travesties. Lock the doors, ER: Your story's long over and the rigs all have flat tires. -- Heathen

The Das Boot, Poseidon Adventure, Titanic -- What Do These Have In Common? Citation
We spent far too much time watching Jorja Fox's Sara have a colitis attack -- excuse us, "swoon with unrequited love" -- around William Petersen's Gil Grissom. And we hadn't signed up for this cruise on the forensic love boat. Aside from our contention that dating your supervisor is a bad idea, we'd also like to point out that in a department stocked with beefcake, going after the puffy, month-old soufflé hardly makes our toes curl in vicarious lust. We have never been so relieved to see the writers take a plotline out and sink it in front of us, and we hope the S.S. Geek Love stays sunk. -- Sobell

The Best Argument For Eating Your Young Award
The appeal of most workplace shows is that the colleagues are presented as surrogate family. And the appeal of CSI in the first few seasons was that these oddball investigators did have their moments where you knew they were looking out for each other. But this year's plotline about several CSIs competing for promotions was akin to watching the kids have a meltdown at the shopping mall the day after Thanksgiving while Mommy snarled, "I'll give you something to cry about!" and Daddy pretended he wasn't actually related to any of these people. And the way it ended? Let's just call that the equivalent to the hostile, sulk-filled silence on the drive home from the mall. -- Sobell

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

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