MONDO EXTRAS

The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

The Simple Life
Once viewers caught on that this was basically a scripted sitcom featuring bad improv actors and locals, the show was a lot easier to take. The highlight was probably Curly, the grandmother of the host family, who didn't seem to know who Paris and Nicole were. If only the rest of us could have such ignorance, and bliss. In one episode, Curly tried valiantly to teach the girls to make a pie to enter in a contest. Let's just skip the part where the girls left the pies sitting on the ground outside and the dog ate them. Or, knowing this show, the "dog" "ate" "them." Curly had a good heart, and she thought Paris and Nicole were good girls. God bless her. -- Kim

Smallville
Smallville's weakest season thus far (and that's saying something, after the Kryptofreak of the Week days of Season One and the less-than-thrilling Season Two finale) was marred by too much noise and not enough movement. We suffered through more "Will they or won't they" bullshit between Clark and Lana, to the point which, as declining ratings have shown, former fans threw up their hands and flipped the channel. Can't say those of us who are tasked with sticking around (recappers, comic book fans, Magnificent Bastard enthusiasts) can really blame them.

We suffered through a lame Fast and the Furious rip, a creepy storyline that put the lead actors in 1961 where Clark's biological dad got his Krypto-jollies on with a woman who looked just like Lana ("Ew," I say. "Ew-to-the-ewwwwww."), and the increasing de-spine-ification of one of the few remaining characters we like, Chloe Sullivan. Then there was that stupid octagonal piece of metal that had more screen time than Pete (who finally left the show after three seasons of character neglect, and rightly so). Worst of all? Clark Kent has gotten meaner, stupider, and more hypocritical as the episodes have worn on, leading us to hope that in some future season, Bruce Wayne whips his ass but good. It would be hyperbole to say that the series is ruining the Superman mythos, but I'll tell you one thing: It sure isn't making us love him any more than Lex Luthor, that's for sure. And if the asshat fits...

Anyway, some positivity: Two moments this season have nearly made up for all of the above ("Nearly," he said, gloomily). The slam-bang-see-ya-ma'am final minutes of an otherwise lackluster Season Three finale, where all the rules were thrown away and almost everyone in the cast seemed to die while Papa Luthor gleefully had his head shaved in prison. But even this high point couldn't match the emotional punch of the final minute of "Shattered," in which Lex Luthor was locked away in an asylum, seemingly having lost his fragile sexy mind, while Papa Luthor looked on with a mixture of swirling emotions and motivations we couldn't even begin to fathom. It didn't hurt that Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" was playing, sending even the most cynical of former Smallville enthusiasts diving for the Kleenex Expressions box. It's too bad that this stunning moment was only a painful reminder of what the show should and could be on a weekly basis. -- Omar G

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Comments

The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

The Simple Life
Once viewers caught on that this was basically a scripted sitcom featuring bad improv actors and locals, the show was a lot easier to take. The highlight was probably Curly, the grandmother of the host family, who didn't seem to know who Paris and Nicole were. If only the rest of us could have such ignorance, and bliss. In one episode, Curly tried valiantly to teach the girls to make a pie to enter in a contest. Let's just skip the part where the girls left the pies sitting on the ground outside and the dog ate them. Or, knowing this show, the "dog" "ate" "them." Curly had a good heart, and she thought Paris and Nicole were good girls. God bless her. -- Kim

Smallville
Smallville's weakest season thus far (and that's saying something, after the Kryptofreak of the Week days of Season One and the less-than-thrilling Season Two finale) was marred by too much noise and not enough movement. We suffered through more "Will they or won't they" bullshit between Clark and Lana, to the point which, as declining ratings have shown, former fans threw up their hands and flipped the channel. Can't say those of us who are tasked with sticking around (recappers, comic book fans, Magnificent Bastard enthusiasts) can really blame them.

We suffered through a lame Fast and the Furious rip, a creepy storyline that put the lead actors in 1961 where Clark's biological dad got his Krypto-jollies on with a woman who looked just like Lana ("Ew," I say. "Ew-to-the-ewwwwww."), and the increasing de-spine-ification of one of the few remaining characters we like, Chloe Sullivan. Then there was that stupid octagonal piece of metal that had more screen time than Pete (who finally left the show after three seasons of character neglect, and rightly so). Worst of all? Clark Kent has gotten meaner, stupider, and more hypocritical as the episodes have worn on, leading us to hope that in some future season, Bruce Wayne whips his ass but good. It would be hyperbole to say that the series is ruining the Superman mythos, but I'll tell you one thing: It sure isn't making us love him any more than Lex Luthor, that's for sure. And if the asshat fits...

Anyway, some positivity: Two moments this season have nearly made up for all of the above ("Nearly," he said, gloomily). The slam-bang-see-ya-ma'am final minutes of an otherwise lackluster Season Three finale, where all the rules were thrown away and almost everyone in the cast seemed to die while Papa Luthor gleefully had his head shaved in prison. But even this high point couldn't match the emotional punch of the final minute of "Shattered," in which Lex Luthor was locked away in an asylum, seemingly having lost his fragile sexy mind, while Papa Luthor looked on with a mixture of swirling emotions and motivations we couldn't even begin to fathom. It didn't hurt that Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" was playing, sending even the most cynical of former Smallville enthusiasts diving for the Kleenex Expressions box. It's too bad that this stunning moment was only a painful reminder of what the show should and could be on a weekly basis. -- Omar G

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

Comments

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