MONDO EXTRAS

The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

by The TWoP Staff August 12, 2004
The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

Joe Millionaire 2
Seriously, does anyone but me remember this show? Even I had to go back and read some recaps to refresh my memory. The highlight was probably when that one foreign girl said something in broken English that resulted in an unintentional joke at her expense. -- Kim

Karen Sisco
The show got dumbed down the longer it ran, probably due to network interference, so the highlight was the first episode, specifically the extremely stylish and retro opening credit sequence featuring the Isley Brothers singing "It's Your Thing." That, and Karen's outfits. -- Kim

Kingdom Hospital
Stephen King has the market cornered on pointing out the finest moments of the un-fine KH, using his bulwark of bullshit on the back page of Entertainment Weekly as a sounding board for his sour grapes. As a character in one of his VERY OWN MOVIES stated, "Sometimes…dead is better." -- Djb

Las Vegas
The moment memorable moment on this show? That actually took place on screen, and not in my head as I fantasized about a Godfather shout-out to the doddering James Caan, or the moment when the show's bimbo surplus was pruned by a freak comet crash and Molly Sims was but a tiny smear on the pavement?

Sorry. There isn't one. This is the show people watch after they've spent all day dealing with the vagaries of the workaday world; Las Vegas's generic brainlessness is the very point of its existence. -- Sobell

Line of Fire
Sometimes, I think I dreamed this show. And it was a nightmare. What, casting King of the Nebbishes David Paymer as a menacing mob boss sounded like a good idea to you? Did you still feel that way after the writers forced him to use the phrase "that's that with that" nine to fourteen times an episode in a pathetic attempt to create the next water-cooler catch-phrase? What about that episode featuring his bare, wrinkly ass? Without a doubt, the finest moment of this miscast disaster took place on a cloudy day in mid-February, when the Head of ABC Programming looked out his window thoughtfully for a few moments before during to his assistant and saying, "Fuck it. This Paymer show's a fucking mess. What was I thinking? Cancel it. Now get me JJ Abrams on the phone. I've thought of a great new way to fuck Alias." -- Jessica

The Lyon's Den
Rob Lowe really thought he had a hit on his hands with this one, and boy was he wrong. The problem was that the producers couldn't decide whether they wanted a stylish high-minded drama (like The West Wing used to be) or a campy nighttime soap. This recapper leans toward the latter, and thus the highlight was the scene in which Frances Fisher slapped Kyle Chandler across the face. After so many fresh-faced do-gooder roles, it was exciting to see Chandler stretch and play a man with dubious intentions. If only the show had kept up that tone instead of trying to be some sort of John Grisham knockoff. -- Kim

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Comments

The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

by The TWoP Staff August 12, 2004
The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

Joe Millionaire 2
Seriously, does anyone but me remember this show? Even I had to go back and read some recaps to refresh my memory. The highlight was probably when that one foreign girl said something in broken English that resulted in an unintentional joke at her expense. -- Kim

Karen Sisco
The show got dumbed down the longer it ran, probably due to network interference, so the highlight was the first episode, specifically the extremely stylish and retro opening credit sequence featuring the Isley Brothers singing "It's Your Thing." That, and Karen's outfits. -- Kim

Kingdom Hospital
Stephen King has the market cornered on pointing out the finest moments of the un-fine KH, using his bulwark of bullshit on the back page of Entertainment Weekly as a sounding board for his sour grapes. As a character in one of his VERY OWN MOVIES stated, "Sometimes…dead is better." -- Djb

Las Vegas
The moment memorable moment on this show? That actually took place on screen, and not in my head as I fantasized about a Godfather shout-out to the doddering James Caan, or the moment when the show's bimbo surplus was pruned by a freak comet crash and Molly Sims was but a tiny smear on the pavement?

Sorry. There isn't one. This is the show people watch after they've spent all day dealing with the vagaries of the workaday world; Las Vegas's generic brainlessness is the very point of its existence. -- Sobell

Line of Fire
Sometimes, I think I dreamed this show. And it was a nightmare. What, casting King of the Nebbishes David Paymer as a menacing mob boss sounded like a good idea to you? Did you still feel that way after the writers forced him to use the phrase "that's that with that" nine to fourteen times an episode in a pathetic attempt to create the next water-cooler catch-phrase? What about that episode featuring his bare, wrinkly ass? Without a doubt, the finest moment of this miscast disaster took place on a cloudy day in mid-February, when the Head of ABC Programming looked out his window thoughtfully for a few moments before during to his assistant and saying, "Fuck it. This Paymer show's a fucking mess. What was I thinking? Cancel it. Now get me JJ Abrams on the phone. I've thought of a great new way to fuck Alias." -- Jessica

The Lyon's Den
Rob Lowe really thought he had a hit on his hands with this one, and boy was he wrong. The problem was that the producers couldn't decide whether they wanted a stylish high-minded drama (like The West Wing used to be) or a campy nighttime soap. This recapper leans toward the latter, and thus the highlight was the scene in which Frances Fisher slapped Kyle Chandler across the face. After so many fresh-faced do-gooder roles, it was exciting to see Chandler stretch and play a man with dubious intentions. If only the show had kept up that tone instead of trying to be some sort of John Grisham knockoff. -- Kim

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

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