Conference Room Of Eternal Debriefings. Patton's reading from some file. Something about an ordinary American town and a normal guy and how the normal guy is actually a secret operative who was sent to America to babysit a suitcase-sized nuclear weapon. Jeanie and Rocky are all, this is your report? Patton flings a well-worn copy of Thong onto the table. Patton swears that the magazine was just moldering away in the CIA files and that he wasn't using it as spank-o-riffic bathroom reading. Jeanie and Rocky aren't buying it. Neither am I, actually. Anyway, Patton goes on and on about how there was a submarine and a bomb and New Jersey and Digger and...where's the vodka?
Office of Mayor McCheese. Rocky, Jeanie, and Patton are filling Pastor Pecorino in on the details. Commander Caciotta finds it hard to believe that it's possible for the CIA to move on a case that's based largely on a twenty-year-old rumor, an underwater echo, and a sex magazine. I find it hard to believe that it takes even that much to make the CIA move on any case; I'm sure a sex magazine is often reason enough.
Agent Asiago declares that the CIA can't afford to be wrong about this. Patton agrees, and informs Father Fontina that the FBI called in a NEST team. In case you're not up on your spy-speak, "NEST" stands for "Nuclear Emergency Search Team." And in case you think I'm some sort of spy-speak idiot savant, I didn't know what the hell "NEST" stood for until it appeared at the bottom of my TV screen.
At the same time as the Patton crew is briefing Taskmaster Telemea, a bunch of yellow-clad dudes start carting equipment into the fallout shelter. Billy's with them. When one of the guys waves something over the square on the floor, the radiation readings are off the charts. Shocker part trois.
Back in Ensign Emmental's office, he's all pissy that no one talked to him about this before they talked to the FBI. Just as Warrior Wensleydale is trying to convince the Patton crew that suitcase bomb rumors have been circulating since 1950 without any concrete proof, Billy calls in with the radiation info. His Honor Herrgardost looks like he just swallowed a Guatemalan fruit bat. Cue commercial.
The Debriefing Room Of All Debriefing Rooms. Jeanie enters and informs Prior Piora that the NEST team is doing a discreet search of various locations. "How many people know about this?" Cottage Cheese inquires. "Us, the FBI, and the readers of Thong," says Rocky. Hee! Now THAT was funny. Especially his delivery. I giggled. More! More silly Rocky quips! MORE!