The Agency
In Our Own Backyard

Episode Report Card
Erin: C- | Grade It Now!
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For Whom The Bomb Tolls

Havarti Headquarters. Commander Camembert is trying to get Rocky to fill him in on all the details. Rocky informs him that Nuke may have shielded the bomb. "There is no bomb, [Rocky]," says Professor Parmesan. Right. There's no bomb. That thing that we saw Nuke fiddling with in his motel room right before the commercial break just looked like a bomb; it was really a rather large Palm Pilot. No bomb. Right-o, Ricotta. Rocky fills Neufchatel in on all the Nuke details. Care? Not me.

Hacker Designs, Inc. Jeanie and Rocky get Soul Patch to hack into the chat room and impersonate Nuke in order to scare off this O'Connor dude. Caring? Less and less.

Ten Tons Of Triviality Tennis Courts. Paige is parked on the hood of her ex's car. He's not entirely pleased to see her. He's even less pleased when she pulls out her graphic design handiwork. He's all, fuck you, these aren't even real. She's all, yeah, and the courts will give a shit about that. He's all, I should have killed you on our honeymoon, you conniving bitch. She's all, I should have castrated you at the altar, you philandering fuck! He's all, fine, what do you want from me. She's all, drop the detective and stay the fuck away from me. He's all, okay, but can I keep the Zeppelin box set? She sets his car on fire.

Over in some random parking lot, Billy's preparing to impersonate the IRA guy. Blah dee blah dee blah. Billy gets a cellular call and heads off for the meet. Wearing a leather jacket that was obviously lifted from Tom Cruise's donation to the Salvation Army, Billy wanders warily (ooooh...alliteration) into an abandoned building. He hears a noise, draws his gun, and shouts out Nuke's name. Nope, sorry. Not Nuke. Dmitry. Unfortunately, Nuke was unable to attend this bomb exchange, because the Russians have located him, which can only mean that Nuke's played Bomb Exchange for the very last time.

Sure enough, when Billy shows up at Nuke's motel, Nuke is lying face-up on the bed with a bullet hole in his forehead. Dmitry claims that Nuke tried to put up a fight so the Russians fought back. Billy wants to know where the hell the bomb is. Dmitry states that, just as there is no spoon, there is no bomb. Sadly, Billy is no Neo and there will be no mondo-shoot-out set to the throbbing beat of the Propellerheads.

Pecorino Party Palace. First Man Feta is congratulating everyone on their hard work. Billy informs Brigadier Boursin that there were traces of radiation found in Nuke's motel room, and witnesses claim they saw him carting around a suitcase that miraculously disappeared before the FBI and Billy showed up at the death scene. Chief Cheddar basically tells Billy to pick up the nearest spiny porcupine and shove it straight up his bunghole. Meeting adjourned.

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The Agency

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